Brendan Abernathy: 'Married In a Year' Singer — Live Music Vs Streams, Content, Faith & Authenticity
Delusional confidence can turn tiny crowds into lifelong, loving superfans.
Here's a conversation with Brendan Abernathy, my podcast guest this week on That One Time with Adam Metwally.
Indie singer‑songwriter.
Played 600+ shows while couch‑surfing across America.
Raised US $2 228 overnight when rent was short.
Turns 13 k IG followers into 150 tickets sold—city after city.
Below are some of the key concepts we explored in the episode:
Convert followers into buyers. Brendan breaks down the exact ratios and tactics that let him move tickets with just 20 000 monthly Spotify listeners.
Use the “4‑Year Sprint” rule. A simple framework for creatives to test any dream, avoid burnout, and know when to pivot.
Flip scarcity into generosity. Hear the full story of the $2 228 cheque—then learn Brendan’s playbook for giving without going broke.
Timestamps:
0:00 Journey of self‑discovery
3:07 Family grit & work ethic
5:53 Giving back through music
8:50 Faith‑guided decisions
12:00 Ego vs purpose in art
15:07 Music that stopped self‑harm
17:48 Lessons from 330 days on the road
21:01 Human connection on stage
26:24 Authenticity over backing tracks
28:03 Building one‑on‑one community
29:51 Social media burnout
31:30 Turning 20 000 monthly listeners into ticket sales
35:05 Investing in female friendships
38:01 The cycle of kindness
40:02 Why creation matters
41:58 Finding meaning through service
45:01 The most beautiful creation
It’s up on YouTube, Spotify, X and everywhere else.
✌🏼 SUPPORT THE PODCAST BY PURCHASING PRODUCTS WE LOVE:
💧 Vitadrop — Healthy Hydration & Vitamins (Sleep / Hydration / Focus & Collagen) — Use the code ‘TOT’ to get 25% off your purchase @ https://www.vitadrop.com.au/TOT
👟 Vivobarefoot — My favourite barefoot shoes that I wear everyday — Use the code ‘TOT’ for 20% off @ www.[vivobarefoot.com/](https://vivobarefoot.com/)
🥗 Blueprint — Longevity supplements and meal solutions by Bryan Johnson — Use the code ‘TOT’ for 10% off your purchase @ [friends.bryanjohnson.com/TOT](https://friends.bryanjohnson.com/TOT)
📖 5 Minute Journal — My favourite daily gratitude journal — Use the code ‘TOT10’ for 10% off @ https://www.intelligentchange.com/?rf...
📝 Notion — My favourite note taking app I use for my business and personal life everyday — Use the code ‘TOT’ to support the podcast @ https://affiliate.notion.so/TOT
😴 Hostage Tape — A sleep mouth tape I use every night — Use code for 10% off @ https://www.hostagetape.com/products/buy?snowball=ADAM90598
🐄 Carnivore Aurelius Collagen — Collagen I use daily — Use code ‘TOT’ for 10% off @ https://www.carnivoreaurelius.com/TOT
👓 Blue Light Glasses — Glasses I wear every night — Use code ‘TOT’ for 10% off @ [www.blockbluelight.com.au/?ref=TOT](https://www.blockbluelight.com.au/?ref=TOT)
📵 Opal — Blocking iPhone app app I use daily - Follow the link to support the podcast @ www.[applink.opal.so/invite-friend?rc=EA66X&rId=AIriLLeGL0Nofh8MOpdNLEwgEF53&rNme=Admet](https://applink.opal.so/invite-friend?rc=EA66X&rId=AIriLLeGL0Nofh8MOpdNLEwgEF53&rNme=Admet)
Here’s the full transcript:
Speaker 1 (00:00.14)
To be a successful artist, either have to be insanely arrogant or insanely selfless, because you have to have the delusional confidence that no matter how many people meet this with apathy, I’m going to keep doing it because it’s going to help one person, or it is already helping 10 people. I you can really create change in our world. And then the ego is thinking that I’m the one that can do it.
Speaker 2 (00:29.87)
Brendan, welcome to the podcast. You’ve been called by many fans as everyone’s local artist. You’ve played over 600 shows since you began your career in music. But I want to take us back to 2018 when you took some time off the grid to choose whether to take the creative path over a traditional career. What led you to that moment and what was your thought process around the time?
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (00:36.494)
true.
Speaker 1 (00:42.968)
Okay.
Speaker 1 (00:52.906)
I was nearing my senior year of college at the University of Georgia and I was studying economics but with like a health emphasis. And at the time I thought I wanted to help reform the United States health care system because it’s.
notably horrendous. So I was studying econ and I was going to go work in probably like consulting or startup space and get some experience towards the health care vibe. And just something I felt like discontent, which I wasn’t really sure why, because the jobs I was looking at were exciting and engaging. I’d be able to problem solve. I’d be able to travel, which I love travel. I love people. They’d be people facing jobs. I’d make good money. But I just felt this like deep, deep
deep discontentment inside of me and I didn’t understand why. And I remember I was talking with my dad and he was like, why are you so unhappy? I was like, I don’t know, because everything in my life is like pretty good. Like I actually have a good life. And so why am I so unhappy all the time? And why am I so discontent about what I’m going to do with my life and what my life looks like right now? And that’s where my head was at when I went up
to that like cabin and unplugged and drank a full bottle of wine. First time in my life I’d been drunk because I was fasting and I didn’t understand and I wrote this poem and I was like, yeah, this is fire. And the next morning I read it and I was like, this makes no sense. And then I think it was two days later, I went to the reputation stadium tour with my dad. And that was really where I felt
Okay, I think that’s actually what I want to do. And then you look back and find like these photos of me as a kindergartner dressed up as a singer for career day and like videos of me just hamming it up at the church choir, right? And like remembering the first time I sang, remembering how much I love guitar, knowing I’ve been writing since I was 11. It’s how I process life. It’s always how I’ve processed life. And it was, I think it was always clear.
Speaker 1 (03:07.392)
if I was able to take myself out of like the structure I was in, this is what I should be doing. But I was raised in a family that’s competitive and successful. And I’m not hating on that. I love those. I’m American. I love that crap. Yeah. And then, and I went to a school where athletics were really heralded and I wanted to be cool. And in the South, if you’re good at sports, you’re cool.
And I was good at baseball and everything in my life was just like, do the right thing. And then I chose to do the wrong thing for the first time in my life.
So what made you want to go into go alone for three days to figure shit out? Like, what was that calling?
I think it was God. But it was via discontentment. Like deep discontentment and I just gotta figure it out. And I’m not afraid to be alone with my thoughts. In fact, I walked down to pay for parking this morning. I got to my car four minutes after they’d given me a ticket apparently. But as I was walking there was like so much noise around me. And I was like dang, New York’s probably a really hard place to just like be alone.
to find time to be alone.
Speaker 2 (04:25.816)
So you find value in solitude because it seems the, the understanding that you should take yourself away for three days to figure your shit out at what, how old were you at that moment? Not many people figure that out at 21.
Hugely,
Speaker 1 (04:41.506)
Yeah, I don’t know. I’ve always had really good mentors, really good friends, really good guy friends that are open, vulnerable, authentic. But I don’t remember even telling me to do that either. So I do think it was just like, yeah, do you do that stuff?
I try to, yeah, I try to take myself away. And lately it’s been in the cat schools and everything like, and just go to the mountains for three days.
New York, upstate, beautiful.
No, it’s just no reception. So yeah, I’ve been making a habit of after the summer going up to cat skills by myself. I want to jump back to your earlier years. Run me through the context of those years and how it shaped the human you have now. Yeah, and family dynamic.
Is a child?
Speaker 1 (05:24.142)
Yeah, I great parents, super supportive. never missed a, I don’t think they ever missed a sporting event or anything. And I year round sports. I have an awesome sister. She’s super driven. She gets married on Saturday, which is exciting. And then I had involved grandparents. So I had like a very solid family life growing up and we were middle-class. So like you had everything you needed as a kid. I never.
missed a meal or whatever. I was raised by a family who believes in working hard, having a really good work ethic, devoting yourself to something thoroughly. Like we had a policy, you get one quit your whole life. You’re not allowed to quit more than once. I’ve never used mine, saving it for marriage. I’m just kidding. It’s a huge joke. That kind of drive and determination I think is actually kind of rare now.
And I see it in myself all the time. Like I just have a, I have like a motor where I’ll just keep going. I mean, I’ve done music for six years, barely sniffed success. And I’m still think tomorrow’s the day or today’s the day because I’m just like endless drive grit. think grit is the right word. I was raised by a very gritty family. Both my parents were commissioned jobs, like full on commission jobs. They don’t get paid unless they get the leads and they make it happen. And I saw that growing up. I also saw parents who
served like organizations and in communities. And so I got that value instilled in me that it’s important. People are important and relationships are important and friendships are important. On top of that, I was super into sports and really competitive and I played baseball. so in baseball, super famously, obviously you fail seven out of 10 times you’re in the Hall of Fame in the majors.
you fail seven out 10 times in high school, you’re kind of it. But I grew up failing. Like my sport was to fail and get back in the box and fail again and then maybe get a hit and fail again. And that all of that has built in me this like foundation of grit and determination and undying like stubbornness, like borderline delusional. Right.
Speaker 1 (07:47.982)
And so sometimes I think it does look like delusion, but in reality, it’s just like, I know what I want to do. I know who I want to be. I’m going to evaluate that every four years. And that’s just because of our schooling system is like four years of middle school, four years of high school, four years of college. And I was like, okay, well, for four years, I’m going to travel and tour. And then I was like, for four years, I’m going to live in LA. And then at the end of those four years, I’ll decide again, what am I doing for my next four years? Yeah. And right now I’m super committed to this and I don’t
that.
Speaker 1 (08:17.742)
want to do anything else. love it. I actually said to my parents a couple weeks ago, I would rather die than fail, which is super toxic. But that’s how I was raised. I was raised to keep going and to fight and to grind.
I want to touch on the community thing. So run me through what Muse UGA was and what PowerWire
What’d you read? My amazing students profile at UGA? LinkedIn? Did you read my LinkedIn?
Would you start a war?
you said GA was a.
Speaker 2 (08:47.534)
That’s actually a really nice compliment.
Music UA was a organization that I helped start as a freshman where we gave music lessons to kids at the elementary schools in Athens and Athens Clark County is the poorest county in the state of Georgia. It’s where the university is. So there’s this juxtaposition of like everyone going to UGA if they’re from in-state isn’t paying tuition because we have this amazing in-state scholarship program. And if you get in, you have the scholarship. So like
80 % of students have tons of spending money or enough. And then you have the poorest county in the state. And college students are always looking for ways to serve and ways honestly to build their resume. And this was a cool way to give students an opportunity and a pathway to do that while also serving. So we taught guitar, piano, drums, singing.
I think by the time I graduated, we were in three or four elementary schools. It was really cool. I honestly did not like giving lessons. I’m not very patient. So I became like overseer, planner, manage the exec board, have them do their job, lead well, don’t give lessons. I was not patient. No, I was not good at it.
Nice. So you find it really valuable to give back where you can. What other scenarios have you given back and how has that returned to you?
Speaker 1 (10:19.694)
Um, I try to be generous financially, which is hard when you’re really poor. I have some crazy stories about like financial provision in my first five years. My favorite one is November, 2023. I finished tour in Texas and I was like $2,200 something dollars short of being able to pay rent in January and I had no gigs for December and I’m driving home in the pouring rain in Dallas, Texas. It’s like 38 degrees.
If you’ve ever been in 38 degree rain, you know it is the worst thing ever. It’s like, please snow or don’t rain. I’m punching the roof of my car like pissed off.
be able to pay rent. And I’m like, if this is what I’m supposed to do, if this is like my calling, you got to figure this out. I’m like, pissed at God. I get home to where I’m staying, which was with my friend James, 25 year old married dude with a cute Sheltie, not making a ton of money. I pull in his driveway, I pull up my phone, the sound tech from that night at this small venue where there are 30 people. His is Michaela.
had sent me like $228 or something like that. I’m like, what? Why? She’s like, wish I could have sent more. I was like, I’ll have my MMO. I believe in you. Like, thanks for the music you’re making. That’s unheard of, right? Like sound, sound, it’s not a thing. I walk in, I walk upstairs, they’re already asleep. And there’s an envelope with a handwritten note. It’s like, we believe in you. We love what you’re doing. We love your music. Thanks for staying with us. We felt confident God wanted us to give you.
this amount of money. It’s a $2,000 check. $2,228 was like exactly what I was short of my rest. Insane. And so if that’s happened, it’s like, oh, it’s all coming. Like it’s a cycle. Like I can give money away. I will get blessed in return. It’s not even in return. It’s like a give and take thing. just think it’s like understanding that money’s not even mine. Like it’s not, it’s to be shared.
Speaker 2 (12:08.609)
RAISE
Speaker 1 (12:29.218)
my material possessions are fleeting. So that’s the money side of things. And then just people I try to like really devote myself entirely to the moment. And I feel like that is returned immediately. Like everyone, if you like, you’re a great listener, you make great eye contact, you ask great questions. I’m sure you do that outside of the setting too. And I feel like everyone probably reengages with you because that’s to me, like, you know, when someone’s authentically interested in you.
That last story about the money situation. Yeah, crazy. And a few other points you’ve made in our past interactions. It makes me feel like you have a very strong faith and your religious connection is extremely important to you. So how has that impacted your ability to make key life decisions?
Yeah, it has a lot. I think if you believe God is for you, it can give you a lot of peace when you do make decisions. There’s a verse that always comes back to me when I’m trying to make a decision in the book of Isaiah. There’s this one verse, 30, 21, that says, whether you turn to the right or to the left, you’ll hear a voice in your ear saying, this is the way walk in it. And I always think that does not apply to my next decision. And it always applies. It’s like,
where am going to go to college? All right. Well, if you go to Georgia or you go to North Carolina or you go to Vanderbilt, it’s going to be fine. Like, just do it. OK, what am I going to do for work? If I’m going to be a consultant or if I’m going to work in startup space or if I’m going to go to Colorado or if I’m going to do music or if I’m going to go do Fulbright in Spain or whatever, like it’s fine. Just make a decision. It’s going to be fine.
So you’re the decisions actually don’t matter?
Speaker 1 (14:13.876)
I do not think the decisions matter as much as we think they do. Yeah. If our purpose is deeper or more broad than a specific thing, then we’re going to find contentment no matter what we do. So my purpose is to love people and to help people hopefully become more themselves or become more who they’re created to be or like to live into.
their most authentic self. And right now I get to do that in a really special way. Music’s like a really special way to connect with people. But if it all got taken away tomorrow, Spotify crashed, we’re not allowed to drive anymore, we’re not allowed to play guitar, like whatever. I’m super confident I would still be content and I’d still find purpose in some way.
I want to talk about ego a little bit. Now, how does your ego help or hinder you in creating your career in music?
Let’s do it.
Speaker 1 (15:16.334)
I was actually thinking about this this morning as I was walking around. I think to be a successful artist, either, I’m going to say either and then I actually think it’s both. You either have to be insanely arrogant or insanely selfless. And I think in reality it ends up being a little bit of both because you have to have the self assurance, the delusional confidence that no matter how many people meet your work with apathy.
that it’s worth it to keep going because someone’s gonna get changed by it. And at the same time, you have to have this belief, you have to have this surrender that no matter how many people meet this with apathy, I’m gonna keep doing it because it’s gonna help one person or it is already helping 10 people or whatever. So you have to be like,
So confident that you have to be some level of delusion and an egomaniac. You also have to be so selfless to be willing to make your life horrible. A long amount of time. mean, I’ve for six years barely made enough money to eat enough food and pay rent and pay for gas and play shows and make merch and record albums and pay the people who recording the albums and pay the people for videos and pay like run a business, right?
It says a check.
Speaker 1 (16:46.626)
barely made enough money to do any of that. Why do I keep, I’m still barely making enough money, but yes, why am I doing it? Like why, what, what keeps me going? It’s not the ego. It’s, it’s the, it’s the thought of impact and purpose that I think is deeper in art than anything else. I think you can really create change in our world through art. And then the ego is thinking that I’m the one that can do it. Right? Like,
Ioanna, I know.
Speaker 1 (17:15.967)
It’s me, I’m the guy. That’s the ego part of it, I think.
Yeah, it’s a double-edged sword, isn’t it? I mean, I’m thinking about that for the podcast as well. It’s like
Speaker 2 (17:30.341)
I want to talk about impact that you’ve had on potential fans. So I want to talk about the craziest fan experience you’ve had, the most impactful fan experience that you’ve had. Tell me about a story that that’s been impactful. You spoke about impact before and how you want to impact people. What has been the most impactful?
It’s Easter, most impactful.
Speaker 1 (17:46.542)
So many, so many, so many. I mean, I feel like the most impactful ones are pretty private to the fans, but I’ve had multiple fans reach out about how my music has helped them through like suicidal thoughts and self-harm thoughts and stuff. And just feeling like they’re not alone or feeling like the darkness isn’t so dark. There’s light in it. There’s light out of it and through it. And I think
If you have any role in saving someone’s life or making them believe there’s a point to keep going, a purpose to keep living for.
What else can you do once you do that? Like those are the things when I’m getting 300 views on a TikTok that I’m like, whatever. Like this person from Indiana, this person from Montana, this person from Colorado, this person from everyone’s local artists, like all these people are on earth, even if it’s 0.01 % because they heard this song. That’s so...
outside of my comprehension when you’re writing a song.
Yeah, it just totally changes the way I see everything.
Speaker 2 (19:07.638)
Yeah, definitely. It’s a crazy, crazy thing. Music really hits us to a core. I want to dig into a bit more of the details of your experience playing 600 shows, because I think it’s quite interesting how you’ve approached it. So you’ve lived in your van. Was it a car? Was it a van? So you lived in your car. Out of it. How does that look?
to the mom car.
I out of it. I lived out of it. lot of couches.
For how long? How long? Did you ever sleep in the car?
Oh yeah, for sure. I’d like 10 % of days I slept in the car. So yeah, I couch-surfed a lot, but I mean I was touring 330 days a year for four years.
Speaker 2 (19:50.658)
So how has that impacted the way you approach kindness and giving?
Yeah, I think it’s totally altered my view. I remember when I was in college, these older guys were looking for somewhere to stay for a home football game.
And it’s like written in your lease that you can’t just like have people like however many people stay over. I remember being the one who was like, actually it’s in the lease that we can’t do that. So we probably shouldn’t do that. Literally, bro. I’m like squirming inside right now thinking about being that person. And now I’ve slept over on like over a thousand couches and people are so people like will pay me to stay on their couch.
You jerk.
Speaker 1 (20:36.962)
people will feed me meals to stay on their couch. What am I doing if I’m not repaying that kindness? So yeah, I’m just like super open to people. Now that I have an apartment, like A, my friends are always welcome. And if I’m gone, like.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (20:58.028)
Still welcome. No cha-
No charge. Even if you’re no longer in the lease. Go for it.
So yeah, think I mean kindness is contagious Is that is that a thing do people say that? Yeah. Yeah kindness is contagious. Yeah, so when when you’re kind people are kind back So I want to be kind back
don’t know, but I like that.
Speaker 2 (21:26.008)
Just quickly though, I love doing this podcast. If it’s positively impacted you in some way and you would like to support us, please subscribe. By subscribing, it allows us to build a much bigger base of listeners, which results in better guests, better production, and a better show overall. Alternatively, please take a look at the affiliate links of the products that I use and love in the comments below and consider purchasing using those links.
They’ll give you a discount and they’ll also provide the podcast a small kickback. These are two very easy ways for you to support us as we continue to grow the podcast that we absolutely love doing. Thank you for your support and I’m back to the episode. So what are the key lessons you’ve learned from playing over 600 shows today?
yeah, the big one is it doesn’t matter. Which is like the opposite of everything I’ve said on this podcast, but like, okay, the show doesn’t go well. Well, honestly to the fans, it probably went pretty well. Like I’m good at music. So I perform, it’s going to be pretty solid. People are going to think that was a good show. I’m good on stage from 600 shows. I’ve the big lesson I’ve learned is how to connect with a crowd.
I read a bunch of things before I go on stage. One of them is like a credo I wrote four years ago about what a good live show is. I don’t have it memorized, so I can’t read it to you, but it’s something. What is a credo? it’s like a paragraph. Yeah. And one of the lines is like, yeah, one of the lines is like, my job is to fearlessly lead the room.
What’s the credo?
Speaker 2 (22:56.214)
No, what is the creator? No, I where creator is. Are you the creator?
Speaker 2 (23:03.96)
paraphrase and I’m curious.
Speaker 1 (23:13.774)
to where I’m supposed to take them. And I never have a set list. So I stand on stage and I’m like figuring out where we need to go.
Do have a band at all? it just you? Will that be the end goal of always just being
me.
Speaker 1 (23:29.438)
I like it. I like being human on stage. think a big, I think everything’s really polished in art right now, like tracks. We got tracks, we got locked in bands, and I love that stuff. Like, I love a good track show, if it’s good. I love a good band show, if the band is good. My favorite artists, my favorite parts of their shows, when it’s just them and their instrument. Garth Brooks, one of my favorite artists, and he did a Vegas show for...
15 years for a lot of years where it just him and his guitar, his encore, just him and his guitar. That’s my favorite part of his show. Ed Sheeran, just him and his guitar. So human. Tosh Sultana, one person on stage. Tosh.
I booked a first show in Australia. Yeah.
Tasha’s like the biggest impact on my live show of anyone.
Right. We fucked it up there. Our sound guy was kind of shit. So I was a bit awkward, but you know, it sold out really quickly. It was probably the last show. So she did, it was really funny. I just like managed to finesse the agent into doing the show. It was fine. It was in my hometown in Australia. It like a big, was like a 600, 500, 600 cap room. she,
Speaker 1 (24:34.958)
Where was it?
Speaker 2 (24:42.67)
He canceled and I called him like, dude, this festival that you’re trying to, that you want to build on in this city isn’t actually going to happen. Like I know that. So don’t do that. Do this. And he’s like, oh really? I’m like, And then he did the show and the festival never happened. Festival may have happened if they land attached. My bad. That’s hilarious. Welcome to the promoter game. It’s like an hour south of Melbourne. Okay. Nice. And yeah, she came to do this show. She didn’t actually announce it.
She announced it on her stories as like a little side thing outside of her tour. It sold out in 12 hours. Wow. And then she played this intimate 500 capacity show in this like band room that I was.
And what does Tosh play in Australia normally? What size venues?
Well, this is the thing. So this is the story. So, so she plays this show and then six months later she announced the stadium tour or three months later, she announced the next two, which is stadium tour. So we got this little weird moment in time where I managed to finesse this stadium act to play in a regional venue to a 500 cap audience. And it was really cool. And we’ve got a photo where I’m like on a, on her head.
So sick.
Speaker 1 (25:59.022)
And Tosh is just pissed because the sound was so bad. You loop and the sound is bad. It’s like.
No, the the fucking. The wedges dropped, she was playing off. He was looping off front of house because the wedges dropped and the tech guy couldn’t figure out why. So she just had to wing it. She crushed it. Yeah, she was a pro. She was looping off the front of house.
being without wed-
Speaker 1 (26:24.888)
Looping without wedges.
Speaker 1 (26:29.91)
wild. That is a level of talent that is just rare. That is wild. Taylor Swift concert also just the spe- everyone’s favorite moment of the Taylor Swift song concert is like the the the special songs that she does. Everyone is drawn to authenticity and I always even if I have a band one day I always want there to be a very very very large emphasis on authenticity.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:46.894)
to authenticity.
Speaker 1 (26:56.204)
Yeah. In my, in my concert. So I’d say those are the big things I’ve learned is it really doesn’t matter if it feels like it’s going poorly, just have fun. you’re literally playing music for a living. Really? Okay. Even if everything goes wrong, it’s like, all right, it’s not that bad of a job. And two is, be human and, connect with people. want to be seen. Most people don’t go to a concert to not be
kind of There’s worse things to do with your time.
Speaker 2 (27:12.952)
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:25.92)
acknowledged or they just listen on Spotify. Please playlist me by the way.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:35.846)
I, uh, it’s analogous doing the 600 shows is analogous to the story around the Beatles playing like seven nights a week when they started off as a band and just doing the reps. But, uh, I wanted to, before we wrap up, I wanted to jump into how you’ve built community and how you’ve done it on a grassroots level. So, you know, a of people are focusing on social media and Tik Tok and all that sort of stuff, but your approach has been more one-on-one. What impact has that had on your ability to
A, sell tickets and B, build an audience. And how have you felt that audience B compared to other artists that maybe you’ve seen have done less of this work, but more on the viral social side of things, have had more impact on the viral social side of things.
Yeah, it makes the internet more exhausting because you don’t get the feedback. So when I’m not touring, it’s really hard up here. Yeah. Whereas I think for a lot of artists, if they have that like muscle churning on the online stuff, they’re fulfilled at home. me, I think as of today, I have
Really?
Speaker 1 (28:45.422)
13,300 followers on Instagram. I am not exaggerating when I say at least 12,000 of those I have met in person at a show. I have had no help from the algorithms.
yet.
We finally had a video hit like the algorithm on TikTok this past week. I was singing a song apparently called Roast Beef Love. Whatever. Thankful that it finally did something. So that’s hard work. Like I think most people would have quit.
So why didn’t you?
It comes back to those impactful stories that we talked. Delusion, It comes back to delusion and impact. Like seeing lives literally changed. And because it’s all been in person, I get told that. I get DMed that personally. I get letters written to me because my PO box is on my website. Like I get, I use my number used to be on my website. I would get personal texts. Like this is for six years.
Speaker 2 (29:25.781)
comes back to Deluge.
Speaker 1 (29:51.756)
And a lot of those people, honestly, I don’t even know if they’re my fans anymore. And that’s really sad to me. Like sometimes people who were like really in, when I didn’t blow up in the six months they were my fan, like I don’t even know if they follow me anymore. I don’t even hear them anymore. Which is, that’s really isolating and sad. Why not? I don’t know. I guess because I’m not great at social media and I can’t tour every month. I have no idea. So.
every
Speaker 1 (30:21.262)
That’s on just like the mental side of it. From a professional standpoint, I saw a post yesterday from an artist that was like, we need to take monthly listener accounts off Spotify. I don’t care that much, but they’re so toxic and so misleading. There are artists with 10 million monthly listeners who sell less tickets than me.
know that personally as a promoter, I’ve done this dance.
Yeah.
I have 20,000 monthly listeners. can sell 150 tickets in probably five to 10 markets. I can sell 50 everywhere.
Yes.
Speaker 1 (31:00.258)
That’s and 50 doesn’t sound like a lot of tickets. You know, 50 in a 200 cap room is like a lot of artists aren’t aren’t moving 50 tickets in a city they’ve never been to. And a lot of artists who have a million followers on TikTok will sell five tickets. And I don’t know what the connection is. Like, I don’t know how some artists it really translates and some artists it doesn’t. I do know that when I do have my moment, I’m ready. And when I hit the road and
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:30.286)
If 75 people show up or 150 or 200 or 500 or a thousand or 5,000, they’re going to get an incredible concert and they’re going to want to come back and they’re going to want to bring their friends. They’re going to tell their friends about it because I’ve done it 700 times. Yeah. And I’m confident in it. And even if it’s the worst show of tour, it’s probably better than the other TikToker that they went to see.
Yeah, you putting in the reps bro.
Yeah. So I’d say that’s the big thing is I focused on concerts and because I focused on concerts, I sell more tickets than it looks like I would sell.
Well, I mean, when I hear about content stuff, I mean, I don’t know too much about creating content on social media for artists, especially live artists. I’ve had a few videos go viral recently on the DJ front, but I don’t have anything to back it up. Like I don’t have anything like music or anything I’m writing that will then feed people into it. It’s just like, just do some random shit and DJ sometimes. Well, we can show you afterwards, but basically recently I did this
played at a festival in Australia just over New Year’s and I played, it’s one of the biggest festivals in Australia and I played a pretty big stage. I played a really early set time in a really good stage and it built from like a hundred people to probably a couple thousand in the hour. And I filmed the whole thing multi-camera, like four cameras. We’ve edited it, we put on YouTube and then I clipped out key moments, like nine or 10 of them. And then over the course of like two weeks,
Speaker 2 (33:07.854)
after that gig, just like daily was posting these shorts. And one of them was just me doing this like live mashup between like a house track and a hip hop vocal. Not that complex, but like not the easiest thing to do either. And it shows a level of skill that I think a lot of DJs don’t show or have. And it got a half a million, one and a half million views on Instagram and a half a million on TikTok. And my following went from like 8,000 to 14,000 in a month.
Bro.
But now my reach has gone in, been cut in half. So figure that one out. My stories will get like 2000 views on 8,000 followers pretty regularly. And now they get a thousand views on 40,000 followers. Make that make sense. doesn’t, but the point is I’ve, I’ve realized there’s a really solid way to do it. And you know, one of the videos that I knew would go well, which was just creating a storyline, a short form storyline around.
doesn’t.
Speaker 2 (34:07.244)
the set and all it was was I’m a random local DJ playing at 2 p.m. at one of the biggest festivals in Australia. How the set began, five second clip of not that many people there and then how it ended like the one of the peak moments. That’s it. Got a hundred thousand views. It’s storytelling. Yeah. Anyway, I digress. So we can talk about that a lot more offline. And you know what?
I always go back to on the, on the live artists thing. like Zach Brian blew up just off a shaky fucking iPhone video that he put on TikTok of him doing a cover or a song of his. It’s not that deep enough to ever think it just do it. think, I think that’s a big part of it. Just putting shit out there and just playing around with it and trying different things. And people want authenticity. They want authenticity in person. They want authenticity in content. Same shit.
Yep.
Yeah. So I’m sure there’s a way. I mean, you know, you’re not a bad singer. So I wish I could go to the show though. I was busy yesterday.
Yeah. So let’s, before I wrap up, let’s, I’d like to do some, talk about some general philosophical questions about your life. What’s the biggest thing you’ve changed your mind on over the last two years?
Speaker 1 (35:28.066)
This is gonna sound pretty wild, I think. I now believe female friendships are worth investing in. I was raised in a community where we were taught, if you’re not gonna marry him, you’re probably not gonna be friends with him in 10 years. So what’s the point? And I kind of bought into it for a long time. And I think...
Interesting.
Speaker 1 (35:57.122)
Men need women. I don’t know about the corollary, but I think men need women to understand the world better and to be more compassionate and empathetic. And having female friends has really helped me in that way. I was always really good friends with my mom, but it’s nice to be friends with some other people now too. They’re awesome. That I’m not trying to date.
Yeah, mean the first relationship is your mom. have a sister? So I guess the second relationship is your interaction with your sister where you learn those kind of things.
I do. She’s awesome.
Speaker 1 (36:28.366)
We’re friends as well, which is nice. Like, you know the question, can a guy and a girl be best friends? I’m pretty firm no. Yeah. One of them’s going to catch feelings eventually. Yeah. And then it’s not going to end well. Or it ends with marriage. But I do think you can be friends. Obviously, obviously. Right. That’s why I’m saying like this is a crazy thing to have changed in the last two years. Like I went my whole life being like, I’m going to be friends with girls, but I’m not going to like.
Or it ends great.
Speaker 1 (36:58.304)
invest in those relationships very deeply.
I’ve had a similar thing, well not really, but like not quite the same, but similar where I haven’t really felt the desire to invest in female relationships that were non-romantic when I was in Australia. And I think it was because a lot of the women that were in my hometown were just not that interesting at the core of it. They’re just like doing their thing and I just needed more stimulation.
We’re the fellas.
I’m like, the guy friends are great. Like they were fine. But when I’ve come to New York, the amount of girlfriends I have now that I don’t want to get with or don’t want to have any, you know, romantic interaction with not because they’re not, they’re stunning. They’re like, everyone’s beautiful in this city, but they’re actually so cool and interesting. And the conversations are so engaging that
There are plenty of also romantic, attractive people out there. So I don’t feel like if I don’t make something of this cool, attractive girl that I’m friends with, I’m going to be alone. I don’t feel that at all. I just feel like this person’s sick. I’m not like 100 % into the idea of us hooking up. So like, we can just be friends. And I’m cool with that. then I actually want to spend time with them because they’re actually really smart and intelligent and like fun and funny and cool.
Speaker 2 (38:31.362)
And they have hot friends who I think can date. Congratulations. Thank you. Thank you.
very exciting. It’s always exciting to know good looking people.
Yeah. The next question I have on this front is what’s the kindest thing anyone’s ever done for you?
I’ve been showered with so much kindness in my life. I don’t think I’m gonna answer this accurately and I think I’m gonna forget something that was really kind. The thing that pops in my mind probably because of what we were talking about was a family literally let me live at their house in Los Angeles for free. Now almost a total of a year. The Worth family, like that’s so crazily kind and every other couch I’ve ever stayed on.
And the money story I told you about all that stuff is so kind, so crazily kind. And the money stuff, that’s one story. Like this summer, someone saw me giving Polaroids out for free and having people sign footballs so that they felt like they saw that I care that you were there. And they were like, we want to buy everything you’re giving away for free so that you don’t have to lose money on it. They sent me $750. Like
Speaker 1 (39:44.47)
I stayed with someone right after that. They gave me $320. It’s just like this crazy kindness. All the, yeah, I mean, so much kindness. I could be better about being kind, though.
It’s all right. Just try to do better tomorrow. Not today though. Tomorrow.
not today.
The thing I think I like, and I’ve been saying it quite a lot lately, you know, I have a bad day. And I remember vividly saying this to somebody recently, was explaining the challenging day that I had. And I just said to her, I was like, around the phone. And I said, but it’s okay, because I can go to bed tonight. I can wake up tomorrow and I can try again. So valid. I was kind of shitty today. I like did something I didn’t love. But tomorrow I can try again. Yeah.
Love that.
Speaker 1 (40:33.358)
Grace and forgiveness are really powerful weapons.
For good. Tools. What is the book that you would like to give people the most?
Chronicles of Narnia. Seven books in one. If I have to pick one, I’d probably go with The Horse and His Boy. Great book. Everyone can read it. It’s children’s literature. Incredible. Riveting. Great characters.
If you could know the absolute truth to one question, what would it be?
Why is there evil in the world?
Speaker 2 (41:09.09)
Why is there evil in the world? What’s your, what do think?
Why did you do that? So rude. I think there’s a lot of temptation for selfishness and that ends up looking like you.
Interesting.
Yeah, I think we’re all pretty selfish. I don’t think selfishness always equals evil. But if we’re all walking around just thinking about how does this impact me and only me, that’s gonna have a lot of ripples.
The collapse of society begins at the individual. I read it somewhere on Twitter.
Speaker 1 (41:42.99)
It’s kind of what’s going on. Yeah, what’s that quote? It’s nice. Sounds like some like Russian philosopher.
Japanese, think. Anyway, wrapping up, what’s one lesson you would like everybody that is listening to this conversation to take from today? Yes.
from our conversation. Take heart, have faith, give it a go for four years, then reevaluate.
I like the four year thing. It’s a really cool, I’m going to use that. Cause I just moved to New York a year ago and I was like, how long do I do this for? Actually answered. think four years feels like the right, the right.
Yeah, look at it as a four
Speaker 2 (42:24.536)
pulled his finger for anyone listening to audio. It’s very randomly just meant to fart noise. Anyway, is there anything you’re excited about at the moment that you want to let the listeners in on?
I’m super excited about album probably coming out in August, tour thereafter. Yeah, definitely coming back to New York. I love the city. I’m excited about ski season. It’s like nine months away. That’s gonna be awesome. Christmas is gonna be sick. College football. my gosh, I’m excited for college football. Fourth of July.
to New York.
Speaker 2 (42:57.548)
the next
I love it man, just grill some dogs.
Yeah, I’ve done it. came in 2022. Where can people find you if they’re interested?
I’m not on the dating apps, so you’re going to have to DM me.
Okay, where would they damn you?
Speaker 1 (43:18.914)
I think that’s a funny response. Sounds like anyways, Instagram at Brendan Abernathy, TikTok. I got a couple. The one that’s doing better right now is at Brendan Abernathy. There’s also it’s Brendan Abernathy. I got Spotify, Apple music, YouTube, Deezer, Rhapsody. It’s just my name though everywhere. Brendan Abernathy. My email list is pretty electric.
This
Speaker 2 (43:37.272)
Deezer.
Speaker 1 (43:48.206)
I just did a joking shake. I mean, it’s fun. It’s just so you know, I have shows. That’s my thing is coming to a show. Yeah. I’d that’s my honest answers.
email list come to a show
I’m going to show Shake My Hand after, take a Polaroid, some merch.
All the merch lifelong fan nice. Yeah
until you get married. Usually people stop being fans once they get married.
Speaker 2 (44:08.65)
or they bring their partner in. So there’s churn. Churn.
Southern turn.
My last question for you is, what is the meaning of life?
Love God, love people. Love yourself, I What’s the meaning of life to you?
Yeah. Brennan? We don’t have time for that. Oh. It’s a long answer. Oh yeah? You gotta go. It is on another podcast. But the short version is, it’s actually, this will make, okay, this will make sense to you. Okay. So God created us in, in his, uh, whatever they say, God created us in his image. He’s the creator. I think.
Speaker 1 (44:49.858)
They do say that.
Speaker 2 (44:53.88)
Therefore, we are at our most natural and.
happiest state when we are also creating. So I think you find something that you want to create and you make an effort to create in whatever format that may be. It business, it be a family, it could be a community, could be music, it could be a podcast, could be books, whatever the fuck you want to create. Creation. Yeah. Go on.
created to create,
Speaker 1 (45:23.278)
I ask you one more question? Yes. It’s my favorite question to ask people. What’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever created?
It’s ironic because I’m not actually a part of it anymore. But I was a partner in a destination festival in Thailand for four years. And then we had a bit of a director falling out and walked away. But yeah, that whole experience and the way people got to connect with a beautiful tropical island in Thailand and it was a couple hundred people and it was...
That’s really cool.
Speaker 2 (45:56.686)
really, really impactful was probably one of the most beautiful things I’ve been a part of. Yeah. It’s Sundancer. Thank you. Thanks for coming through. Glad we made this work. I’m keen to do a few more once this career keeps developing. So we’ll check back and connected. Check back in. Nice. And if anyone’s made it this far, please go to YouTube search that one time without a met while they click subscribe, like the video and leave us a comment. Beep boop. See you brother.
