From Cosplay to WWE: Lex Lete on Kayfabe, Bullies, and Boundaries
WWE is scripted. The pain and politics aren’t.
I just sat down with Lex Lete.
Former WWE NXT trainee and Wonder Woman cosplayer; runner-up on Deal or No Deal Island.
In this episode you’ll learn
Injury risk by the numbers (8 of 70 ACLs) and simple habits that reduce damage. (08:23)
Kayfabe decoded. Mental tactics to separate character from identity under pressure. (05:38, 15:53)
A boundary playbook for bullies, narcissists, and online hate—without losing your voice. (11:12, 38:39, 48:30)
We dive into the details later in the conversation.
Timestamps
00:00 Intro
02:35 From cosplay to WWE: the tryout and Wonder Woman suit
05:38 Real vs fake: the kayfabe mind game
08:23 Culture and intensity: why injuries happen (eight ACLs among 70 women)
11:12 Locker-room politics, rivalries, and respect
14:09 Lessons from the machine: power games and self-love
16:51 Crypto side quest: red flags and exit plan
19:43 Fame vs fulfillment: choosing peace over money
30:43 NYC sublet saga begins
33:18 Reality show drama fallout
38:39 Toxic relationships and drawing lines
41:46 The fixer-upper pattern in dating
48:30 Narcissism 101: signs, traps, and recovery
53:33 Big questions: God, meaning, and the egg theory
1:04:17 Auditions and what’s next
1:04:47 Close
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Here’s the full transcript:
Metwally — That One Time Podcast (00:00.035)
You have to be psychotic to like be a pro wrestler. Like I’d say I’m psychotic. That’s a whole different level of enjoying abuse. How does somebody who doesn’t know anything about wrestling get involved in the WWE? I had honestly very, very little respect for pro wrestlers. And I was like, no, these people are risking their lives for people’s entertainment. They’re having to memorize lines after getting concussed. real versus fake is it? When you’re there, it’s a mind sh** constantly because you don’t know what’s real and what’s fake. What happens in the match isn’t always predetermined.
Why do wrestlers all have wet hair? You they’re all wet? So easy to get injured. There were 70 women in the division and eight of them had torn ACLs. Is it like incestuous? How does somebody who doesn’t know anything about wrestling or ever watched wrestling get involved in the WWE? I got the email I
didn’t even know what the fuck was happening. My manager at the time was like, let me like, did you see like, I emailed you about the WWE. was like, what they want me to do like some brand deal for them or something. Like I was cosplaying at the time as Wonder Woman had like a, I count on Tik Tok with like 715,000 followers. And I would dress up as Wonder Woman literally every day and make videos. It was fun for me, but we can talk about how I got into that later. yeah, they reached out and they’re like, Hey, we want to invite you to a tryout. And I was like, what?
And my manager’s like, I think it’s perfect. Like you act, you are a previous D1 athlete and you cosplay. That’s like the WWE mixed together. And I’m like, well, yeah, I guess it is. And then I called like some of my family. called my brother. was like, Luke, like this is what’s happening. Isn’t this weird? And he’s like, I think it makes sense too. And I’m like, am I the only one that thinks this is the weirdest shit? Like, cause I
I don’t know wrestling. was like, it’s kind of corny, you know, like what does that, but I was also cosplaying as Wonder Woman. Like, who am I to say like this is corny? right. I’m like looking in the mirror, I’m Miss Corny. But I was like, I don’t know, like we’ll think about it. And my manager’s like, okay, like here’s the contract. Pretty much you’re going to be making like for two years and then minimum. Like if once you make main roster. So that was like kind of what they were telling us and I was like, oh, okay. Like, you know, I’ll consider going to the tryout and see how I like it.
Metwally — That One Time Podcast (02:16.878)
And at this time I was bringing my Wonder Woman costume everywhere with me. Like it was just like, if I’m traveling, Wonder Woman’s coming too and she’s like making content while we’re there. And I remember taking it to the trout in Dallas. So it was like during WrestleMania in Dallas in like 2022. And the guy who I guess was in contact with my manager, like I get there, I’m like signing in. He’s like, do you bring the Wonder Woman face? And I looked at him and I was like, yeah. He’s like, perfect. And I was like, what?
First of all, how do you know I brought the Wonder Woman fit? And like, why is he asking? I didn’t realize that like we were supposed to be dressing up for the tryout. And I just happened to bring my Wonder Woman outfit because I’m weird. Like, kind of worked out perfect. Because like people legit brought costumes for it and I just happened to bring mine because I was cosplaying at the time. And for me, that was like one of my normal outfits of the day. My morning fit, my workout fit, my cosplay fit, sometimes into dinner. Yeah. The disgusting thing is I never cleaned that either.
Like I think I wore that outfit for probably over like 400 days straight and never washed it. God. It’s like deteriorating. So how real versus fake is it? Like, is it all, is it just a show where like the storylines are pretty much just the winners of the titles are determined. It’s all kind of just part of an overall storyline arch.
Yeah, you know, the, what is it? The writers have like an idea of what they want. There’s full writing team. there’s everything. mean, there’s like multiple writers on the writing team too. think there’s like for just NXT, think there’s like three or four of them. And that’s like the lowest level. You know what I mean? Then there’s like raw and smack down and they have like a whole writing team as well. And then they talk to each other about like, how can we cross over for WrestleMania and SummerSlam and this and the other, but
No, so the writers, it’s actually really, really, really bad if you end up like winning against someone that you’re not supposed to. So like if, like, I don’t know, they get knocked out or something and you end up like winning for some reason. I think it has in the past because of ego, like people really let themselves like, like fall into the character and like whatever happens to the character, they take it personally.
Metwally — That One Time Podcast (04:41.41)
And this is called kayfabe where people think it’s real. so people that are watching low key think it’s real. And then people that are in the WWE also get confused and think it’s real. So it’s like when you’re there, it’s a mind fuck constantly because you don’t know what’s real and what’s fake. But anyways, now they have a plan of like, okay, this is going to happen. This is who’s going to win this. This is what this is going to cause this. And like they have a whole storyline that goes through it. But what happens in the match isn’t always predetermined.
you know, sometimes it’s like, okay, we’re going to start out with this and this. I’m to hit this move. Once I hit this move, then you start calling. It’s like a call is like, say we’re wrestling each other and I’m just like, duck this and you have to duck it or else I’m going to clock you square in the face. And sometimes people don’t hear you and you like actually hit them. But, only the really experienced people usually do that. Like starting out, it’s like, don’t call your stuff. Like you guys are not good enough. Like, I mean, I think the first week we were there, we just like,
all are just like hitting each other on accident. you wearing gloves or is it just like bare fisted? No, yeah. Well, we’re like punching each other in the neck and stuff. So it’s not, we’re not supposed to be hitting each Oh yeah, for sure. But we’re not supposed to be hitting you like people’s heads or places where they can get seriously injured. So the goal is like to hit people’s neck, but say like you move your head just an inch and then I clock you in the chin. Like it’s so easy to get injured. And I didn’t realize that when I signed up for it. Did you?
have a character name that you were coming out with? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was Stella Lilly. Oh, it’s kind of cute. Stella Lilly. How did you get that name? Like how do wrestlers come up with their names? So we come up with them ourselves. And we pretty much like they’re, they tell us like, it’s your time. And you’re like, Oh my gosh, finally. And you have this like whole list and you’re like, this is the name I really want. And then they’re like, it sucks. And they’re like, okay, okay. So this name and they’re like, no. And then like the names that like don’t even go together. They’re like, okay, cool. You’re going to be Nick’s Bliss. And you’re like,
I wanted to be Kella Raimon, I don’t know, I just made up. And it’s like totally different, but some people get like the name that they want. But I wanted to be Stella Lilly, one because my character was an influencer and I thought I was better than everybody else. It’s just like generally or? What do mean? Do you think you’re better than everybody else in character as a wrestler?
Metwally — That One Time Podcast (06:52.256)
as the influencer wrestler or as a human, thought you were better than everybody else? As the wrestler. No, no, they, got there and I wanted to originally be a baby face because I was just coming off of like being a baby face. A baby face is a good guy. I’ve never heard that term. he’s new here folks. And a heel is a bad guy. Heel. Yes. So pretty much they came up with the baby face. H E E L. H E E L. Yeah. So pretty much they came up with the heel and the baby face is because when from like camera center,
If there’s a tag team, the baby faces will be on the far one and their face is going to be towards camera and the heels are on this corner and their heels are towards camera. So it’s baby face and that’s the heel. Also, there’s something that, especially in wrestling, it’s like very repetitive and they do things that people can like, um, like understand. It’s like, you know, posting on Instagram at the same time every day. So people can expect that it’s like, that in wrestling, like people do the same thing. So people can expect that. And they’re always moving around to different cities. So they want people to be able to experience the same thing in different cities. Yeah. I remember going to a wrestling.
thing in Melbourne. I can’t remember who was there. I went with my dad, would have been like 12. Yeah. And there was some like 30 year old dude just like swearing and yelling constantly for like an hour and a half straight. Be like, get it! Like just doing some like crazy shit. And then this dad in front of me with his kid turns around the guy and he was like, can you just chill? Are you talking about a fan? Yeah. Yeah. That track’s out. Yeah. And the dad with the kid, we’re in the middle of the the dad and the kids in the road before and this guy at the back with his friend is like.
losing his mind. And the dad and the kid, the dad with the kid in front of us just turns around this guy and goes, Hey mate, can you just like settle down a little bit? Like with the swearing and you you know, it’s not real. goes, and did he cost them out? He goes, you know what else? You know, it’s not real. It’s not real. Did you see that punch? That is real. This is so real. He’s like in his thirties and I’m just in the middle with my dad and I’m like, the fuck I’m like 12 years old. I’m like this guy an idiot. Like what the fuck’s going on here? No, no. What I think happened there is I feel like this guy probably was a wrestler before. I don’t know.
You don’t think so? I have no idea. Because I was a child. Because like the question you asked, like how did I get involved with this? I’ve never seen it. I had honestly very, very little respect for pro wrestlers. honestly, like how low? I’m going to be honest. It was like, it was like that for pageantry too. Like I didn’t respect pageant girls. I’m like, Oh my gosh, these girls that like think they’re hot stuff and like act like they’re doing charity work. And then I did it and I was like, Oh.
Metwally — That One Time Podcast (09:15.542)
No, like I actually want to make a difference. I’m actually like putting in the work. This is actually challenging. I’m actually pushing myself. And then I was like that in the WWE, right? Like I was like, it’s fake, blah, blah, blah. This is, and then I was like, no, like these people are risking their lives for people’s entertainment. They’re having to memorize lines after getting concussed. Like, no, that’s like, that’s actually insane. Like think about like memory lines as an actor, but now think about doing that concussed as well. Cause you’re taking bumps, which are micro micro concussions every time it’s like hitting for a football.
And like when it builds up, you know, like it’s a concussion. Anyway. So yeah, it’s a, think I underestimated like the level of intensity that goes into it like how real it is. And that guy that was probably like, no, this is real either probably has tried it before or has a friend that’s in it. And they were telling them all of the crap that they’ve been through. And he’s like, you guys actually hit each other. And it’s like, yeah, we do. We just like try to do it in safe places. Some people do suck and they’re like,
really bad and like swing like this far away and they kind of like ruin it for everybody. Cause it’s like, we look bad because of you cause you suck. But, I think they’re trying to do better of like getting people that are getting in contact. Yeah. Yeah. Cause like you have to be psychotic to like be a pro wrestler. Like I say I’m psychotic, but I’m not pro wrestler psychotic. Like that’s a whole different level of like enjoying abuse.
Well, you did say one time it is incredibly intense and incredibly competitive sometimes in a toxic way full of bad-ass people who are hardcore about pain. Whereas I’m not hardcore. I’m a fragile little being. Did you see that on YouTube? That was my like coming out video of like, I don’t work here anymore. And I was like, I am not made for this. Like I’m like a cutie patootie. I don’t want my face to be reconstructed. Like this is my moneymaker baby. And like there you have to like,
kind of be a little fucked up. Like I have a friend who had to get like face reconstruction cause she got in a like a fight on like everyone there. I was the only one probably like majority in all of my classes. Like people would always ask like who’s been in a street fight here. I was the only one that had never been in a street fight like in the WWE. Like everybody else had like been fighting people when they go out to like bars or clubs or in high school or college. And I’m like, I’m really the only one that hasn’t fought someone here. Like
Metwally — That One Time Podcast (11:35.63)
That’s maybe a little bit of a yellow flag, maybe red flag, but like you have to be in that kind of culture where like you don’t give a fuck. To me, I’m like, let’s just have a conversation and sit down, you know, like totally different people. What do think of Roxanne Perez?
Okay, everybody thinks I hate her. I don’t. She actually helped me with a few of my moves and I think she’s a really sweet girl, I think. No, but she was friends with this girl named Cora Jade who was really mean when I was there and was one of the main bullies that I had to deal with. Not on script, just in the video. why? I was like so confused what was going on. I was like, why do we have beef? It’s because one time, it’s because she texted me and told me to do something and I told her wasn’t gonna do that respectfully and she- What was it? What did she ask you to She asked me to take down a TikTok.
And I was like, no. What was the TikTok? It was like, like, this is what I did at work today. And she’s like, you’re exposing the whole industry. And I wasn’t. I did not give away anything, kayfabe. I was just like, this is a fight. You know, we were like getting ready for the fight and planning out like what we were doing. But I wasn’t saying I was planning out with my competition. And also, like you said, we’re not stupid. We know that we collaborate with each other. Anyways.
She was but hurt that like she couldn’t control me. so then she wanted to like, did you have any right to control you that slander? No. Was your boss? No, no. She was my colleague. Like she’d been there longer than me, of course. And like, but she, there was no reason why I would respect her because she didn’t do anything to be respected. You know what I mean? Like she didn’t come.
introduce herself to the new people. She didn’t make it a safe place to ask her questions about moves. Like, do you know what I mean? She didn’t offer to stay after an X-ray and help people. We would go up to her to shake her hand, introduce herself, and she’d literally turn away from us. Like, no, like she was just a mean person. Her name is Cora Jade. Cora Jade. Cora Jade. Yes. So Roxanne was friends with her and by association, Roxanne- looks mean. She was. She was, she was a really-
Metwally — That One Time Podcast (13:37.39)
And by association, think Roxanne felt like she couldn’t be nice to me anymore. so pretty much when I got- Roxanne’s killing it. She won some titles and shit. Yeah. No, she’s, she’s such a sweet human. Also crazy thing. The guy I was dating there. You dated a wrestler? Yeah. Yeah. Now Is that a red flag? Yeah, they all are. my gosh. I wouldn’t again. Which one did you date? I’m not going to tell you.
Is it like incestuous? Oh, yeah it is. Everyone’s just like fucking and fighting. But end of story, Jade, I’m not Core Jade, Core Jade sucks. Roxanne Perez, sweetheart, so nice. And like, I’m sure they’re not friends anymore, or maybe they are, but like she doesn’t control like how she treats other people in the PC anymore. So like, I don’t think that’s an issue anymore. No, but Roxanne Perez is sweet. And I never had an issue with her. just was like, thought it was weird that she commented on a fan’s Instagram. Like she doesn’t work here anymore.
Okay, girl, like why are you trying to spill all my tea before I do? But yeah, no. Sounds like high school. It was high school times 20. Like I was like, you guys were adults. Like what are you doing here? Why are we acting like this? What’s going on? And I’ve never been bullied. Like I was bullied a little bit in college by like my teammates, but I’d never been like actually bullied before until I got there. Like, like, I mean, to the point where it’s like you walk in,
Oh really? I was just like, yo, why are cameras not following around? Because there’s no way this is real. There’s no way this is real. But anyways, this girl, she came in with me in my class. I remember me and this other girl were going to room together. And she called me up and she’s like, please, I really want to room with you. And I felt bad. So I’m like, oh, you know, she’s going to feel left out. And of course, I was way too nice back then. Way too nice. Like me now going into the WWE versus me. Do you think you could survive? You could hang now?
I think everybody would fucking hate me there now. Cause I wouldn’t deal with anybody’s survive in that place if people hated you? is there like a- It’s tough. So you need to get along with everyone still. It’s not even get along because not everybody gets along. No one gets along with everybody. Cause then it’s like, if you’re too nice, people are like, she’s up to something. Up to what? Are you possibly like it’s- No, there’s no way they’re not that nice. sounds like the character arcs are just like bleeding into their-
Metwally — That One Time Podcast (15:53.804)
character drama arcs bleeding into human experience. Like what the fuck’s going on here? So this is the other issue. So I was this influencer that thought I was better than people and I would go and like do these promos in front of everybody. And then people thought they were real. Like they actually thought I thought I was better than them. And I’m like, you guys know this is my character, right? Like that’s, it’s not me.
And like, you also were an influencer in real life at that time. Yeah. guess maybe that’s where they were like, well, didn’t have more followers than people. Well, this is the other thing. People try to get me in trouble when I was there for like, I don’t, I actually don’t know what they’re pretty much just like, you need to delete stuff. They were really upset because I said, Sean, Sean Michaels, name wrong. I love Sean Michaels. Yeah. I said,
I think it’s a wrestle. I think it’s no, he’s our boss. Yeah. So it’s pretty much they all just like kind of stay in the industry. then after that, what do you do? I’ve met some football players. become commentators. I’ve met some women outside of WWE and like, don’t do anything now. don’t know what to transition to where they can just like chill or it’s I hope so. Cause I don’t cause like I’ve met a few and like it almost seems like they’re still
clawing at what used to be rather than like starting a new path. Yeah. Yeah. Well, so wrapping up on the WWE stuff, what, what kind of good lessons did you take from that experience? You’ve applied to your life.
What kind of good lessons? You should have read the 48 Laws of Power before going at night. I actually started reading that when I was And you would have been like, wow, it all makes sense now. I actually started reading that once I got there because I was like... The fuck’s going on here? Because I was so confused. Because there was, like, we talked about narcissism a little bit. I’ve never been around so many narcissistic people in the same environment.
Metwally — That One Time Podcast (17:49.664)
I wish I was narcissist, like honestly, to not care about people to that level, like I fucking wish it would have made my time there so easy, like so much easier because they also are so unaware of how they’re affecting other people, which is a narcissist, right? They’re not able to understand empathy for others. But yeah, it was crazy. I remember the first day there, someone from main roster came down and they were like, you gotta be a shark here. And I’m just like, what?
You gotta be sharp. You gotta just like go after things and like, but that’s not me. That’s not how I live my life. That’s not my takeaway, but that’s pretty much the environment. What did I take away? I took away that I would much rather be at peace with myself and love who I am and look in the mirror and see myself than do something for fame or money. I think that’s my biggest takeaway is I would much rather have less money in my bank account, more fulfillment within myself, deeper connections with friendships.
than anything that money and fame and materialistic worldly things can get me. That’s my biggest takeaway. Great. You’ve seen the the abyss. I have seen it and I don’t ever want to see it again. Like I don’t want to see it again. I would see it again, but not at the cost of my soul. Yeah. What if they 10 extra wage? Okay. would listen. I would love to go back to the WWE if I’m a manager or if I’m like a speaker or commentator or something because like
Again, it was fun. think where I struggled was like the camaraderie with the wrestling. And a lot of people didn’t like me because I had a following when I came in and also my character talked about that. And it was like, I’m here because of my following. And people were like, this girl sucks. But like, I was actually just really fucking good at my job because I was making you hate me. Like people hated me. Even Twitter, like I would post some things on Twitter and blow up and be like, she’s a worst human and blah, blah, blah, blah. How do you deal with that?
Like, doesn’t it mess with you? I had to block a lot of people on Twitter because I was like, bro, what? Does it mess with me? Well, they don’t know me, right? Like, they don’t know who I am. Yeah, but after a while, just unrelenting hate surely just like does something to your never got that hate in person.
Metwally — That One Time Podcast (20:00.174)
Yeah, because everyone’s a stranger. No, people at NXT, like people that came to NXT, loved me, like loved me. And like even whenever I would be like blasted on the internet for something, they’re like, lady, you don’t deserve this. Like you’re so nice. Like I would be like the one to greet them like, Hey guys, you excited for NXT? Like, you know, and like, be like, my gosh, it’s so good to see you again. And like all this stuff. And I think that those like people who experienced me in person,
you know, have different things to say. at the same time, like, I don’t like everybody. I don’t expect everybody to like me. And I think like being upset by some stranger saying that they don’t like you is like a lack of confidence within yourself. Okay. So you love a good side quest, self-proclaimed side quest queen, apparently. Aside from the WWE, what’s been the weirdest side quest you’ve been involved in? so probably one that nobody knows about.
I was working with a crypto company company right before WWE. Nobody will. Some people know this. had like a crypto podcast, but I was working for this company that was random thing for you. Dude. So random. Whose idea was that? the guy who hired me. I know your idea hired me. my, the guy was like my boyfriend at the time he was crypto. No, no, no, no. He was in crypto. Like he’s not involved with my job at all.
No, he was just like lived in London. I thought you got the job with the boyfriend and then you broke up and then you quit the job. No, no, no. He was in crypto. So I was I was hearing about it and someone randomly reached out to me from like a few years ago. I was like, Hey, I thought of you for a job. Like I want to create a like crypto YouTube and Instagram page and I want to host and I want someone that’s a woman.
to educate people and I was like, listen, I don’t know anything about crypto. And they’re like, but that’s a good thing. I want someone that’s hot and a woman and can teach people and learn along the way. And I was like, I like that idea. Because the idea was to empower women to get into crypto pretty much. But anyways, this guy worked, he owned a tax firm. And so within his tax firm, then he also had a side in the back crypto company. And I was the one of only two people that weren’t foreign.
Metwally — That One Time Podcast (22:19.438)
illegal immigrants, kind of, guess you could say. And he was housing us as well. And I was told, I remember getting off the plane and my friend came and picked me up and I still didn’t- So where was this? This was in El Monte. I was told LA, El Monte. So El Monte, you guys, is 45 minutes from LA to the West. And it is predominantly Hispanic people. I was one of the only white person I saw walking around my streets. Great food though.
best Mexican food I’ve had in my life. besides the point. So, I was told that I’d get there, there’d be like a whole team for me. They’d like have a videographer, photographer, all this stuff. They’d have someone write my scripts. Like I was pretty much just the talent. They got to walk on and do my thing. I get there and I show up the first day. Well, first of all, I get there that night and they’re like, El Monte. And I’m like, what? I go to El Monte and I’m like, okay. And I met this girl and I’m hello. Hello.
What are you saying? Hi. Okay. So I meet her and I’m like, wait, she work in the crypto company too. And she’s like very girly and pretty and everything. Later on, I found out she was fucking the boss anyways. And he found her in Columbia or something like that and then met her and then like brought her on board. Anyways, I get getting ahead of myself. So I start working with them. I get there the first day and he’s like, Hey, go talk to like this guy. And I’m like, okay, Hey, I’m supposed to ask you like where the studio is for everything. And like,
where the people is that I’m gonna be working with. He’s like, what? And I was like, you the studio for the media department. He’s like, there’s no media department. I was like, what? And he’s like, there’s no, there’s no team. Like you’re the only one. And I was like, what? So I’m the only person on this team where I was promised there were like four other people. And they’re like, oh no, we’re building it. Like we’re building it, don’t worry. So then the first day the boss comes, picks me up to go pick up his daughters from school. And at this time I had broken up with my boyfriend. We weren’t together anymore. And
the boss was asking me some weird questions. And so I was like, like he was like, you know, I think it’s a shame that like monogamy is such a thing. Like I think all of us should like see other people and like to just be with one person isn’t really like the way life is supposed to be lived. You’re supposed to explore and experience other people and energies and all this stuff. And I was like, no, but I’m pretty good with my boyfriend. Like, you know, I just like, where’s he going here? Like it almost seemed like he was trying to see where I was at with that. And I was like, okay, this is
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you know, a little HR problem. But again, there’s no HR, right? There’s not even a team for me. So I’m like, whatever, you know, let’s not think about it too much. Then I go to my place and I’ll Montay. And then again, it’s me and just this other girl and they’re supposed to be like two or three other people living in the place, no one but us. So I started asking her questions and like how she met him. And then she tells me that like he buys her really nice gifts sometimes and she has gotten with him before. And I’m like, oh, okay. Like this is interesting.
And then he ends up hiring some guy who is homeless. And then he moves into our house and he doesn’t pay him, but tells him that he has to edit the stuff for us. And so I look at this guy’s work. So we shoot one video and I look at this guy’s work and I’m like, Hey, like, know, like, let’s get the ball rolling. Let’s get some content. And he like has an anxiety attack.
when I’m like, hey, do you think you can edit this within one day? And he’s like, no, it’s so much pressure. I’m like, blah, blah, blah, blah. He’s not paying me. And I’m like, OK, I don’t know what’s going on here. So pretty much this guy ends up leaving. The whole time, I’m like, what is happening? I’m genuinely confused. And then I’m like, I think I’m in a bad situation here. Right? They’ve got persons housing me. They’re using people. And a homeless man just came to live here. I don’t know what’s going on. And so then our boss invites everybody to his place.
And it’s a night where everyone’s mixing and mingling. And then there’s music that comes on. And the girl who’s at my place goes and dances with the boss very closely, even though the boss has a girlfriend slash fiance or something. And I’m like, oh, okay, know, interesting, right? But I know he told me about his life. He likes that. So then he came up to me and grabbed me to dance. I’m like, oh no, I’m good. I’m good. I’m good on that. And he’s like, no, you need to move like this. And I was like, ah, I don’t need to move like that.
I would just pop it over here, baby. So then I go into work the following Monday and he’s like, letty, I’m gonna have to call you my office. And also at the time I’m like praying, like how do get out of this God? Like I do not want to be in this job. Like there are so many concerns for me about what is happening right now. He calls me and he’s like, we got hacked. Like, right, right. We lost $40,000 and therefore I’m gonna have to let you go just cause you’re the newest person on board. And I’m like,
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gosh, what a shame. no, no, no problem. I totally understand, problem. But I’m like, but what about my housing? Like what’s happening with the roof over my head? He’s like, can continue to live there. I’m like, okay, okay, cool. So pretty much I got laid off because I wouldn’t dance in like a very promiscuous manner with my boss, right? Like pretty much he realized like I can’t make advances on Letty. She’s not going to bite like the other girl. And like, there’s no point of having her here if like that’s actually what I’m ultimately wanting. So where did the podcast come from?
Did you, were you doing the podcast throughout this whole time? So me and this guy started it while we were there, while we were like waiting for the rest of our team to get hired. How many episodes did you do? I think three or four. It actually was pretty good. Like me and the guy kind of killed it, but. Why didn’t you just keep doing it? You could have become like crypto crane, crypto queen. Crypto queen. was the idea. I actually had a TikTok called crypto queen. Yeah. Yeah. But you can’t actually like make content around crypto for real or else it gets like flagged. Oh really? Yeah.
Yeah, that’s why the crypto podcast blew up. A lot of them blew up. And newsletters. And newsletters, Yeah, big newsletters. Yeah. So that was an interesting side quest that I did. And that was right before WWE. Geez, you’ve been on a tear. Yeah. Wow. So crypto queen, WWE, depression, New York. There were some things before depression in New mean,
between depression and New York. yeah, yeah. So after WWE, yes, I had suffered from depression and I gained anxiety while I was in the WWE from, you know, obviously people talking about me and spreading rumors about me all the time. You develop anxiety about talking and meeting new people because you always think that they’re talking bad about you and coming up with fake stories. they? No. Like anymore? No. I don’t think so.
Like people could say crazy stories about me now, but I don’t have to show up and see them every day for work, right? Like it’s different. so I had, I started painting. So it was like, in that order, WWE depression, anxiety, right? And then I painted and that helped me cure my depression. And then I went on dealer, no deal Island. Yeah. A fierce finalist, you would call it. A fierce finalist. Yeah. I should have won that shit. Yeah. I should have. How come you didn’t win?
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That’s because Philip, Philip decided to help the guy who sent him home because he has kids and I don’t. That’s fair enough. You think that’s fair enough? I mean, all’s fair in love and war and deal and no deal island. I think so much less of you know. I do. How much money was it? $5.8 million. Yeah. Guess how much I got? Zero.
I actually got paid less than everybody there because everybody got stipend once they got off the island. Like once they got off the show, like they got like $200 every day to like. How come you didn’t get a stipend? Cause I was on the show. I didn’t need the stipend. They were feeding me there. Okay. Damn. But it was the best time of my life. I will say it was like so much fun. I am still bitter about Philip. Obviously that’s why I name dropped. So wait, were you the second runner up?
I was the runner up. The runner up. you could have, you were this close to $5.8 million. Not necessarily. Cause I still had to play dealer no deal, but I was going to probably, I was probably going to cop out. The money. did he get? $5.8 million. It was like $30 million was the pool ride. The craziest part though is like off camera, he like went through the cases that he would have done. And if he would have kept going, he would have won $12 million. Yeah.
Could you have done anything different to the game theory, that thing, to win, do you think? So there was an episode where someone cheated and it was all spun around. so pretty much I had told David that I would jump for him previous to the mashup or after the mashup when everything was going awry. And so he’s done Survivor two times. So this is his third competition show. So he’s a veteran.
So he knows that during chaos is the best time to catch a prey, right? To like catch someone to do something for them. So I was like, I just called CK out. Like I told David I’d get his, I don’t want to get his anymore. I’d rather get satchels, like I go back. What you mean? Pretty much we had like jump for these rings. And if you jump for someone on the highest, they were safe. If you jump for someone at the lowest, they went out. But I told him I would jump for him for safety one.
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And so I followed through with it as the good Samaritan I am, but so badly in my mind, I like wanted to pick someone else last second. What would have happened if you picked someone else last second? Then Seychell would have been saved and not David. David would have been the bottom. Would he have been knocked out? He potentially could have because Seychell is the one who went home that episode and I didn’t save her.
And was she more of a, she was less of a threat than? was my, she was one of my Alliance members. But at the same time, I had really weak Alliance members. Weak in the sense of they didn’t make big moves physically and mentally, strategy wise, they weren’t willing to take big risks. So I was kind of just with like, guess the sitting ducks. Yeah. Like it was like our Alliance should have been called the sitting duck. Like bless their souls, but like, gosh.
Fight or flight mode. I don’t want to be in a populous apocalypse with them. But Stacey was funny though. So like at least she’d make me laugh. well shout out to David. Five point eight mil. Yeah. I asked him to buy him some of my artwork. He said no. He didn’t give back. Okay. Then we make it, we make it to New York after all this. yes. Yeah. So what was your welcome to New York moment?
So I was deciding that I’m going to just sublet and beep up around the city to figure out what part of town I want to be in. Someone sent me the profile of this girl who was previously on The Bachelor and then going on The Bachelor in Paradise. And so because she was going on the show, she was subletting her place while she was gone. Her name is Zoe. The only reason I’m actually saying her name, because it’s honestly I feel so bad to say people’s name. she- Zoe McGrady. She asked to say her name.
I made a TikTok about it, not say names, like just being like, my gosh, like this is my story. This is, you know, what happened. And she commented and she’s like, tag me next time. So Zoe, we’re going to give you your flowers where there are two. She wants to be tagged about it by being crazy. Tag her in this, tag her in this. So, and the crazy thing is like, she tried to like combat it with false information when I had like screenshots and receipts. And so then I just kept making TikToks. like, you mean like this? And then people are like,
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Like people were like, I love following this story. Like keep roasting her. So this became a whole thing. I didn’t even realize it became a whole thing. Yeah. I really need to go to small claims court about it because honestly, just for the story, like I heard somebody one time on a TikTok that’s like really big in business. was like school of hard knocks. He’s like, you know, like, do you ever get screwed over in business? He’s like, I get fucked, but I fuck back harder. And I resonated with that. And I was like, you know what? If people fuck me, I need to fuck back harder. Yeah. I’m not a fuck.
I just cut the luncheon. I’m either. And then I just walk away. That’s the thing. I’m not, but I- Seethe for years with no consequence. I would love to have that mentality though. So like now I’m like, okay, like maybe we’ll like take to small claims court. Anyways, people are like, why are you going to small claims court? Like, us in. Okay. Pretty much. I was looking for a sublet. Someone sent me her profile and she’s like, hey girl, like it’s going to be this much. I think it was like 2,300 and-
my price range was around 2000. So I was like, know what, still at my price range. Like, I’ll think about it. Thanks so much. Didn’t contact her. She reached back out she’s like, hey girl, I’m going to do 1900. Like, I’m really looking for someone to fill the spot. And I was like, you know what, this is a sign from God. Like, I can do 1900. I’ll take the place. Thank you so much. Like, do you want me to Venmo you half right now? Like, you know, what are you wanting? And she’s like, let’s FaceTime sometime. I’m like, okay, cool. And we talk and she’s like, don’t worry. Like if I come back early, which I don’t think I will because I did so well on my season and like, you know.
I’m a pageant girl, I’m very competitive, like I know how to stay in the game. And I’m like, okay, Purr, find the man of your dreams, honey. Like, you know what I mean? Like, I’m like, yes, queen, get your mans, get your husband. Like I’m hyping her up. I’m like, yes, please actually also stay. Cause like, don’t want you to a bad situation. Yeah. And plus when she came back, that would just be sucky to go like stay at a friend’s place. So I was like, you know, like hopefully you make it a long way.
I get to the apartment, I think like on the fifth of the month. And then I get a text from her on the eighth. And if you know how reality shows work, they take your phones and you’re not able to contact them. So I knew when she texted me that it was not good news. She was literally the first one voted off of this dating reality show. And I’m like, no. And she’s like, hey girl, like, you know, I’m going to just come drop my stuff off. Like what, what time are you going to be home?
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And I was like, hey, I’m actually gonna be out of town for like a Red Bull competition. I’ll be back on Sunday. Like go ahead and like drop your stuff off, no problem. Cause like, you know, I’m also a nice person. I’m like, like you’ll find your man in New York, honey, drop your stuff off. Like blah, blah, blah. And then she sends me another text like the next day. And she was like, hey, do you by chance, you know, want to keep like not paying me for the rest of the month. And then you just go stay at somebody else’s place.
And I’m like, I don’t know anybody else in New York. Like I just got here. I don’t have friends yet. So no, I’d rather just, you know, stay at your place and like pay you the rent. And she’s like, okay, like, well, I have some things and like, I want to organize my spot before I move. So we’re going to need to talk when you come back. And I text her and I was like, this is actually really worrisome. It feels like you’re about to kick me out. Doesn’t respond. Text me also a narcissist, lots of narcissists I’ve met now. And it’s like, I’m good at.
recognizing patterns, unfortunately. Okay, so anyways, doesn’t respond to that, right? Because she doesn’t want to admit that she’s trying to do something shitty, right? Because earlier in the text thread, she’s like, when she asked me, you want to stay somewhere else? She was like, if not, no problem, I’ll stay at a friend’s place. So I was like, stay at a friend’s place, I’ll pay the rest. Okay, so then we get down to the part and she’s like, hey, what time are you coming back on Sunday? And I was like, hey, I’m gonna be back around like 4 p.m., no response.
And I messaged her and I like, Hey, like, I’m really not feeling well. had bronchitis and I ran this Red Bull 400. And so I’m coughing up a storm and just my lungs are about to freaking explode. So I’m like, Hey, I’m really not feeling well. Are you cool with, you know, maybe meeting up on Monday at a coffee shop, like near your address. And she’s like, sure. I’m like, okay, cool. So we’re like, we’re going to meet up on Monday. I’m tired from this race again, bronchitis.
I see trash outside the door when I get to her place and I hear a TV on, I open the door and find her sitting on the couch eating chips, like watching TV. And she goes, oh, hey girl. I’ve never met her in real life either. Like I’ve never met her in person. So I didn’t know this woman. I just was like, oh, she’s been on a reality show. Like there’s no way that someone that’s in the public eye is going to, you know, screw over someone that’s also in the public eye and shares their life on social media. Like what? That wasn’t the case. So.
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I was like, what are you doing here? I have a video, because I started recording her and me and I was like, Hey, I like don’t know what you’re doing here. She’s like, I told you that I was off the soap. said, yeah, but you texted me and said you were going to stay at a friend’s place. She’s like, like I said that, but I didn’t mean it. didn’t mean it. Okay. Right. Right. I should have known.
Like she acted like I was stupid for like knowing that I didn’t, that she didn’t mean it. Anyways, so was like, hey dude, like I don’t know what to do. in this situation, I’m going to start recording us because like, I just want to make sure everything’s straight when we talk about this later. So she’s like, okay. So like I set down my phone. So I have all of this on recording too. All of it. And it’s, I rewatched it. She’s mean.
And I was so nice. was like, I understand that, you know, it’s harder for you to come back and stay somewhere else, but like, you’re really putting me in a bad position. And she’s like, I have so much going on right now. She’s like, I’m heartbroken. I don’t know what I’m doing for work and I’m moving soon. And I was like, okay, well, I technically don’t have a job here. I don’t have any friends here to go to. I’m literally, I’ve only been here for a week and I just moved all my stuff, but like, fuck me, right? Like, fuck you!
I don’t give a shit. So I’m like, the audacity to not even understand someone else’s situation fucking blows my mind. Like seriously. And I’m like, you realize you’re being selfish. And she’s like, you know, like you can stay here though. So like, I’m not putting you on the streets. And so I’m like, okay, like I don’t want to stay here with this girl. And then she gave me the option to stay at her friend’s place that lives 45 minutes in East Harlem. And I didn’t know her friend at the time.
I just have since become friends with this friend actually and talk shit about her. I didn’t know the friend at the time. So I was like, I’m not gonna stay with your friend in East Harlem. When like I paid to be an apartment by myself without another person in it that I don’t know, which is you. Like when you sign like, and then she tried to tell me, she’s like, everybody knows in New York, like if you have a lease and the person comes back, you have to leave. And I’m like, no, that’s not how a lease works. And she’s like, everyone knows that. I said, stop saying everyone.
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It’s just you and me in this conversation. I am not everyone. You’re gaslighting me right now. It’s so obvious. Like, stop. She didn’t stop. She kept saying it. It was driving me off the wall. And then she’s like, I’ll pay you back the rent. I’ll pay you back. I just really want to stay here. And she’s like, my rent costs more than what I’m making you pay. And I was like, yeah, but you’re also the one who reached out to me desperately saying, come stay here. I need someone to stay here. That’s not my fault. You pay more.
So pretty much, I was like, all right, well, I guess I’ll stay with her for the time being while I figure out something else. Because maybe we’ll get along. Maybe we’ll be like, maybe it won’t be so bad. It was bad.
Metwally — That One Time Podcast (41:33.862)
your girl was stressed. I’m pretty sure I had like five pimples come up on my face because I was like, hell to the no. Like I’ve never been around like that. I always say a bear actually similar, but you attract these people, bro. Yeah. Apparently. Yeah. I don’t know why actually need to talk about this with my therapist. She says that like empaths are nice people are the best people for narcissists to prey on.
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And that was your welcome to New York moment. I love that we got to a crazy story about a place to live that ended in, need to talk to my therapist. I pretty much sums it up. Yeah. But I mean, like I desperately like posted on Instagram and like, thank God someone sent it to a friend. And then I moved to Hell’s Kitchen and that was like super sweet, like locked and loaded person didn’t come back. Thank God.
Yeah. Living here is crazy. Yeah. also got a, I also stayed somewhere where I got a bed bug. Oh, where is it? I can show you pictures of it. No, I don’t need to see your bed bugs. It’s okay. You don’t want to see it? particularly. No. No, I mean like where is it on your body? Is it still there? No, no, it was, it was like right here. There were 10 bites, 10 bites. So bed bugs, like bite multiple times apparently. So I woke up in the middle of night and it was itchy and I was like, what is happening?
And I, yeah. Had to move out of that place. I’ve had a lot of struggle with housing. Welcome to New York. It’s literally welcome to New York. And the place I’m at now is nice, except for the fact that the girl didn’t clean her air filter for probably like over a year. And I like took a picture of it and there was like dust this thick. Yeah, you showed me that. And I was like, I texted the girl and I was like, hey girl. And there was moldy Brita, like mold inside the Brita.
I messaged her and I like, hey, like I noticed there’s no clean supplies to clean all this stuff. Like, are you cool with, you know, I go buy a few things and you, you’ve been moving for the cleaning supplies. And she’s like, no, no, those two factors don’t define the cleanliness of the space. And I was like, actually like air and water are basic necessities. So they do, but okay. Mr. Lulu, just quickly though. I love doing this podcast. If it’s positively impacted you in some way and you would like to support us, please subscribe.
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as we continue to grow the podcast that we absolutely love doing. Thank you for your support. And now back to the episode. Wrapping up, you made an interesting point earlier. You said you were a fixer-upper with men. Talk to me about that. Wait, I don’t think I talked about that on here. You haven’t. No, I haven’t. No, you told me about it Oh, yeah. Okay. told you. I’m like, pretty curious about that. Yeah. So I only have actually two boyfriends, I think.
actual boyfriends like post-college. I don’t think I had a boyfriend in college. I kind of did, but I don’t think I did. So if I don’t think I did, I didn’t. Okay. Anyways, so I’ve only actually had two like boyfriend, girlfriend relationships where they’re like, will you be my girlfriend? And I’m like, yeah. And the first one was just a boy.
Just a little lad. He hadn’t developed yet. He had a lot of work to do on himself. And I remember like at the time he would never take me out on dates and I would like give him gift cards so he could like take me out or like my mom would give him. How old were you guys? We were 23, I think. And then it was also during COVID. So it was like, okay, but yeah, he never took me out. And there was just like a lot of things that he talked about doing and didn’t actually do. Like one of them was moved to LA to...
set his career off. And so I broke up with him because I was like, it’s really unattractive that you’re not achieving your goals and dreams to me. Like I want to be with someone that’s like doing the things that they’re saying they’re going to do, not just talking about them. And this person was really creative and very innovative. Like they always had a different business idea. Like they wanted to start like an oat milk company and like do it, slay. And then they wanted to start like a glass, like a.
glasses drops shipping company. And I’m like, do it. Like they always were like beat bopping around like something with a big idea, but like never fully putting it into fruition. And I broke up with them and I was like, you need to like go do what you said you were going to do because it’s again unattractive to me. And you’re not really like living up to your full potential for like what you owe yourself. Like I really feel like people owe themselves the experience to try and fail at their dreams and then like keep trying. So.
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He went out, he did that in LA. And like, think on Instagram, I saw like two weeks ago that he just bought himself a Lamborghini. So like, he went from like not being able to afford to take me on a date. And I think I read his caption. It was like, my girlfriend at the time didn’t know it, but I only had $50 in my bank account. And I was like, I think I knew it. Like, I knew you. Like he didn’t, and he also moved in without like telling me and he never offered to pay rent or groceries or anything. Like he kind of was, he was a bum when he was with me because like he didn’t have money. he So what does he do now? I think he-
flies drones for like movies and commercials. He’s an FPV drone pilot. They’re good ones. I’ve really, really, he’s really good. That’s really good. Such a like fun, interesting skill to develop. Yeah. It was like super nerdy. I know. was like, you little nerd bomber. Next thing you know, he’s like, Ooh, The videos he would make were so cool. So yeah, now I guess he drives a Lamborghini.
and lives in LA. And it was really sweet a few years ago, because this, we dated in 2020, and like a little bit in 2021. And so a few years ago, I happened to be in LA and he’s like, hey, can I like take you on a surprise? And I was like, you know, okay, sure. And we hadn’t talked very much since like, I think I ran into him at a friend’s friends giving and he was like, hey, can I like take you to do something as like a thank you? And I’m like, okay, sure. He ended up like taking me to Disneyland.
And I was like, that’s sweet. He’s like, I couldn’t afford to like take you out when I was with you, but I just want to like take you here and say, like, thank you for pushing me. Cause like without that, I don’t know where I would have been.
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Do you think you could have stuck it out with him and gone along for that ride? No? No. You need a man who’s got more going on. I think I just, I also at the time just like overpowered him in so many ways because he wasn’t, he was like literally like a boy. Like he just like, wasn’t developed into a man yet. And I was, I mean, I was still like developing into a woman I’d say, but things I said I was going to do, I did and he didn’t.
And I think that’s where we weren’t compatible. Because to me, if I say I’m gonna do something and my partner also says they’re gonna do something but doesn’t, how am I supposed to trust them with a house one day or picking up my kids from school? Like it goes into so much deeper than just the right now, not holding promises to yourself. It goes into like, well, what about like down the road when it’s like.
simple things, you can’t follow through with that. Like that’s not attractive to me. Cause when I say I’m to do something, I do it. Like for instance, the, date where I got catfished, someone else invited me to do something like way more fun and way cool that night. But I told them, no, I said, I made a promise. I’m going to go to this date. This person’s like relying on me to be there and I’m not going to cancel on them and like screw up their plans because I think that’s so wrong. So like even something as small as like canceling plans to go to better plans, like even you invited me to a Russ concert and I
I love Russ. And I was like, no, I can’t. And you’re like, but you’re so excited about Russ. And I was like, yeah, but I already made these plans with these girls and they’re going to come over and I’m not going to cancel just because I want to do something that is arguably more fun for me in the moment. I’d rather be a person of my word than a person of fleeting enjoyment. So that was important for him to go do the things he was going to say he was going to do. And then after him, I like complete opposite it.
opposite dated this guy that was a multimillionaire. think he made like four million a year or something. Took me all around the world and the country. And he wanted to be an influencer and I could tell he wanted to be and that I was one at the time. I mean, still am. But when we started dating and I was like helping him like make videos and do different things. I was like, you want to be in social media? He’s like, no, I don’t. I’m like, no, you
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do I can tell and like I would show him how to make videos or like show him like this and that. And it’s funny because like, it’s not funny, but the guy who went off to LA is the one who kind of like taught me how to make videos. And cause he was into like filming and editing and stuff like that. So the skills that he taught me, was able to like help with the next guy and like sharing them, which is something I really like about deeper relationships, like boyfriend, girlfriend relationships is you learn so much of skills from the other person. So like the
the LA. Be careful with the person you bring in though. Yeah. Well. Cause you know, if you, you can also take on a lot of bad habits and stuff. Yeah. That’s why you break, like if it’s not working, you break up with them. A lot of people don’t, a of people stick out like some pretty heinous shit. I think there’s a lot of people don’t love themselves fully. Is that too real for some people? Maybe. but I don’t, yeah, I think some people don’t completely love themselves and so they’re desperate for somebody else to love them.
But I really love myself, so I’m not desperate for someone else to love me. Because I’ve loved myself for every walking minute on this earth, even when I’ve not liked versions of myself. In the WWE, I didn’t like that version of myself, but I still loved myself. And so this second boyfriend, the multimillionaire who wanted to do social media, and I kind of taught him how to do it. He was a narcissist, and he started doing some things, and I’m like, hold up.
what? Like in trying to pressure me to do things I didn’t want to do. And I was like, and like holding things against me that weren’t big issues. Like for instance, like I didn’t know how to speak Spanish. And he like took me to Barcelona and was mad at me for not being able to ask for ice cream in Spanish. Yeah. And so like he would get mad at me for small things. I’d be really confused, but it was like this tug and pull that narcissists do. And I remember like,
The last time I saw him, I went to go visit a friend before going back to visit him in London. And I remember at the time we were like on rocky terms and I was like, like, you know, that what he did, like when we were in Barcelona was a little bit weird and like kind of scary. He like flipped on me, but like, wasn’t willing to understand my side and played the victim. And like, I did nothing wrong. The only thing I did was I didn’t know how to ask for ice cream, which is
Metwally — That One Time Podcast (52:55.086)
what narcissists do, they pick really small things and blow them out of proportion to like turn them on you. Anyways, so I got back to London and he told me I was gonna have to take the train to like come meet him. And then he showed up and surprised me at the train station with like a ton of chocolate and treats. But I was like scared because he was like, oh, hi, and I was like, ah, because like we weren’t on good terms again yet. And he acted like nothing happened.
This is alarming to me. But anyways, he after that, but a really nice, like it’s interesting cause, cause narcissists can be really fun and nice people too. But again, it’s always cause they’re like seeking validation from outside sources and other people and trying to be liked and trying to, which social media is the best thing for narcissists. It really is. So the fact that he wanted to be a social media person makes sense and he does it now and he kills it. Like he probably makes way more money than me on social media. He gets tons of brand deals.
Oddly enough, my first marathon I ran, I was in Austin, Texas, and he was one of the sponsors by the brand, like a brand there, and I ran into him on my first marathon. And I was like, what are the odds? Like, this is crazy. But he was living out his dream, and I was really excited to see him live out his dream despite.
Not together. Yeah, despite not being together anymore. And I wouldn’t say like I have any ill will from him, but I am aware that he’s a narcissist. like, like he would say really nice things after our breakup or like reach out when he could tell, like I was, you know, unstable on social media. And I was like, that’s really nice of Johnny, but Johnny is a narcissist. Like with narcissists, you always have to be like, that was so nice of them, but they are a narcissist. Like you always have to follow it with.
but they are a narcissist, this is my therapist told me. So that you can categorize them as their actions are not necessarily out of pure intentions, but intentions of to win you over and get them to like you. Isn’t that what all humans do? No, some people just do it just to be nice. How often do people do it? What do you mean? Everyone’s got some like initial motive or motivation of every action that they take. No, Yeah, of course. I don’t think that’s true. Maybe it makes them feel good.
Metwally — That One Time Podcast (55:03.118)
Like there’s some, no one behaves in any format without external motivation of some form. Well yeah, there’s ego involved in stuff, I guess. No, I’m not even saying that. Why would you do anything unless there’s a motivating reason to do it? I think because there’s God. What does that even mean? And I think... Wait, what do mean? Yeah, I think... So I believe in God, right? And I believe that God speaks through me, through other people. So your motivating factor is that you want to...
be a positive, like God-like person. We all are technically God-like. Yeah, yeah. yes. OK, so that’s still a motivating factor, is the point I’m Yeah, yeah. There’s always a motivating factor for something. Yeah. Always. I guess. So why is that? So I think the thing I want to like, I’ve never heard someone say before, like. Can I say this person’s, wait, did I say my ex’s name? No. OK. No. Like, I’ve never heard someone be like, oh, this is a nice gesture.
but this person’s a narcissist. So therefore every nice gesture is out the window. It’s like, can you, what if this guy like goes to therapy and becomes less of a narcissist, but for the rest of his life, he’s just like, got this label on it. That’s just from one person that’s experienced him. Yeah. Yeah. But you’ll think that forever. Well, potentially based on the patterns are still there. literally saw him in Austin. He literally
It said the same narcissistic thing, trying to make a plan with me, trying to see me after, but then ghosts me so that I come back and want to message them like, why didn’t they message me back? Like there’s, he’s playing the same games. So no, he hasn’t healed. No, he probably is not seeing a therapist. Let’s be so for real. Like narcissists are the least likely people to see therapists, but there are some that do. And then they get better at being a narcissist. the likely people to see a therapist are people that date narcissists. Interesting. Yeah.
because there’s so much confusion around what’s happening. Okay. Well, we have been chatting for a very long time. So let’s wrap up on a couple of general philosophical things, because I think we’re moving into that direction now. What is the biggest thing you’ve changed your mind on in last two years? you know what? Actually, probably my perspective of God. Really? Yeah, yeah. someone introduced this theory called the egg theory to me.
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And it’s pretty much the idea. So there’s a lot of questions I have around like religion and God and like, is there suffering? Why are there people in Africa? What’s your answer? And the answer is, why are there people in Africa? Why do Africans exist? Cause God hates us. And the egg theory pretty much breaks it down as like, I’m you and you’re me. So whatever I do onto you, I’m doing onto myself.
And that we’re an all greater being. We’re actually a fetus. Like on this earth, on this universe, we’re a fetus trying to get the all knowing. So we’re all going through these different lives, different experiences, different opportunities, different success. That’s why people talk about like, like good intentions and purity and all this stuff to live a life of like least harm involved in you so that you can go through life with more positive experiences rather than having to like,
dodge bad circumstances because of your actions, right? Like that’s why there’s so much like, why are there so many roles in the Bible? It’s really, you know, like you can do whatever you want, right? Like we have fucking free will, like I just cussed. freaking free will. But the idea is to like protect you from different things that can happen from doing those, like, I don’t know, different forms of sin.
Yeah. Like over consumption over like all these things. but where am I? I’m kind of getting really deep. Okay. But you’re me. I’m you back to that. The starving child in Africa is also you. And it’s also me. It’s just me living a different life. And I feel like whenever I started understanding that everyone is me and I am everyone, I feel like things made more sense to me. So how do you actually,
What are practical implications to that view of the world? So there’s nothing different that I do religion-wise. Just like punch people in the face. I’m still a Christian, but I think it’s like I’ll see people like kind of being mean or something. I was like, gosh, I’m a really bad day. Like, you know what I mean? Like I see it as myself and that’s why like I will talk to strangers like it’s nothing. Like if I, if we were sitting here like waiting for a doctor’s office and I like liked your socks, I’d be like, bro, cool socks.
Metwally — That One Time Podcast (59:50.638)
You live here? Like I would just like chat with the person like they were my friend for 15 years. People are like, how do you just like meet people? Like you, you go to this with them or you’re like so trustworthy of other people. And it’s like, well, it’s me. You know what I mean? Like until something bad happens. Yeah. And then do you do when something bad happens? I am a little naive, but I don’t feel like those circumstances, like I feel like that’s the fear that I don’t want to live in.
So I had a feeling like that. I lived very open and yeah, yeah, it’s all good. It’s all good. And then I got like flat out robbed, like straight up robbed one time. Did they mug you? Not quite. I was trying to sell something on marketplace and they stole it and ran and then they had like a bunch of friends around.
What’d they steal? My laptop, the day before I left for America. I was trying to sell it. Anyway, so since then, I’ve been a hell of a lot more cautious and a little bit, think, like, fuck you. Well, okay, I’m not gonna, like, whenever I’m walking the streets of New York, I’m always thinking about, how can I fight back if someone attacks me from this angle, this angle, this angle? Like, if that’s what you mean. Like, I’m always- Well, I don’t know, I’m just exploring this idea. I don’t think a lot of people have, like, ill intent.
for strangers, but I’m always open to the idea that they do and ready to act. I’m always ready to act. Like if someone popped out of there right now, like I would literally like flip them over and then like, yeah, like I’m always thinking about like what, like I don’t stand near the train because I’m always like, what if someone pushes me? think that too. I think it’s psychotic to stand near the train. Yeah.
And what if for one day we’re just like, I wonder what happened? And we just try it on someone, you know, like crazy. Yeah. And all it takes is one psychotic break in this city. One psychotic break. Gives you lots of chances for psychotic breaks. And our brains are so powerful. Like we could actually convince ourselves that we have like schizophrenia, for instance. Like we could go down a hole and convince ourselves that we have all of these different diseases. And then those diseases would start inside of us, which is why we’re all God, because we’re like master manifestors.
Metwally — That One Time Podcast (01:02:09.262)
Which is how I feel like I’ve been able to like do all these different things in my life is like, well, I put out this energy and then I go for it and then I meet the right people. And it’s like all everything starts coming into fruition. And once I understand that I’m a part of God and like God’s plan for me and we could coincide together. I like it. So, I like it.
I mean, we can keep talking for hours. That’s a lot that we can keep talking about hours. So but we do need to wrap up. So I’m like, can do a round two. We need to leave. can round two on God. Yeah, it’s pretty late. It’s pretty late. So wrapping up, what is a lesson you’d like everyone to take from this conversation? Oh, gosh. I don’t even know if it’s necessarily from this conversation, but just in life in general. And it’s like it’s a little bit morbid. And I’ve said this before, but at the end of the day, you have yourself.
And you never know who is going to stay around. You never know who’s going to like turn on you last second. You never know who you can truly trust. You never know who you can truly love. Like all these different things. And there’s always the idea that like something could happen. You know, we want to hope that it doesn’t, of course. And I don’t think it’s, I think it’s important to keep that like love alive and be okay with being hurt from loving too hard. But I think the most important person to love is yourself.
And I think a lot of people put a lot of pressure on others to love them that don’t even love themselves. And if you’re going to take one thing away from this conversation, is like that loving yourself is the most powerful love because then you’re able to give love freely because if it doesn’t come back, it doesn’t.
It’s based. Nice, I really like that as well. You got some bangers. Yeah, I’ve lived a few lives. Yeah, I’ve lived a few lives. yeah, and I agree. I agree. Is there anything you’re excited about at the moment that you want to let the listeners in on? Oh, I just did an audition. And I really think I kind of bombed the audition. But the idea of if for some reason they actually like me doing that role in the film would be.
Metwally — That One Time Podcast (01:04:17.662)
Sick. Nice. And where can people find you if they want to follow your frantic? Follow the chaos on social media, all platforms at Lex Ledi. L-E-X-L-E-T-E. Nice. And last question for you is what do think the meaning of life is?
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is the meaning of life.
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I think it’s because we’re, we’re a fetus, you know what I mean? Like we’re to live these different versions of ourselves for like the ultimate understanding of everything. So the meaning of life is to eventually be the highest power, which is a, which is a God.
little out there, but if really think about it, makes sense. Letty, thank you. Adam. Thanks for coming on. You’re welcome. Yeah. And if anyone’s made it this far and enjoyed the episode, please go to YouTube and search that one time with Adam Metwally. Click subscribe, like the video and leave us a comment. Yeah. Hit that like comment.
