How I Cleared My Severe Acne Without Medication | Cassandra Bankson’s Journey (Interview)

Severe acne didn’t define her—she turned it into a superpower.

Here's a conversation with Cassandra Bankson, my podcast guest this week on That One Time with Adam Metwally.

Cassandra is a skincare influencer, medical aesthetician, and champion for self-acceptance.

She has shared her journey on YouTube, Good Morning America, and beyond.

Below are some of the key concepts we explored in the episode:

• Four proven acne-fighting ingredients (and how to use them).

• Holistic tactics for balancing hormones through diet and lifestyle.

• Life-changing strategies around mental health, body image, and self-worth.

Timestamps:
00:00 Introduction to the Journey
02:58 The Struggles with Acne and Identity
06:00 Understanding the Causes of Acne
09:01 Dietary Changes and Their Impact on Skin
11:52 The Role of Sleep and Stress in Skin Health
14:55 Analysing Skincare Routines and Products
17:50 Personal Experiences with Skincare and Health
24:54 Understanding Skin Health and Cancer Prevention
26:04 Hormonal Influences on Acne and Treatment Options
30:04 Natural Approaches to Hormonal Balance
33:25 The Journey of Sharing Personal Struggles Online
39:16 Navigating Mental Health and Body Image
50:28 Exploring Sexuality and Personal Identity
55:07 Dating Insights from Experience
58:02 Navigating Insecurities and Self-Identity
1:01:54 Acts of Kindness and Their Impact
1:06:34 The Power of Kindness and Generosity
1:10:38 Seeking Truth and Meaning in Life

It’s up on YouTube, Spotify, X and everywhere else.

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Spotify

X

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Here’s the full transcript:

Speaker 1 (00:07.054)

Welcome to That One Time with Adam Metwally, the podcast conversing the pillars of health, wealth, art and wisdom for all your holistic hustlers out there. I’m here with Cassandra Bengtsson at the Beautiful Music for a While Studio. Cassandra, welcome to the podcast. Thank you for coming on. This has been a fun little meet. We met at an event two days later. We’re doing a podcast together, why don’t you sneak into New York for a little while? I love it. Exactly. Just jump. So

Thank you so much for having me.

Speaker 2 (00:27.928)

Just jump.

Speaker 1 (00:31.736)

For those who are unfamiliar with your story, can you give us a snapshot of your journey specifically around acne and how it impacted you and where it led?

Growing up, I always struggled with pimples, but as I went through school and especially middle school, it took over my entire face and my identity. Like 60 to 90 % of my face, chest and back was just like covered in pimples. And it really became my identity because people would call me things like pizza face or connect the dots. I were a freak of nature. And the bullying was horrible because I just wanted to be friends with people, right?

I had tried so many medications. saw 20 doctors, both MDs, DOs, holistic health practitioners, and I just couldn’t find things that worked for my skin. And I started, I basically started applying makeup and I figured out how to cover it using layering techniques. So then I somehow became a model. And here I was being bullied in school, like having my backpack kicked open and, know, having people like draw circles on my locker that look like pimples to

being in magazines and on billboards and being celebrated for beauty. was like, both of these people don’t fit in the same body. So there was this little website in 2009, no one really heard of it, it was called YouTube. And there were these girls online who were talking about makeup and that’s kind how I was learning new makeup techniques since my mom rides motorcycles and doesn’t apply skincare or any cosmetics. And I decided I wanted to film my own video for that.

Never thought that it would explode or that people would watch it and see my biggest insecurity and how I stripped it off and how I would get ready every day. But people did. And I experienced the loss of my modeling career, some of the worst hate comments of my life, but the most beautiful community and the most amazing start to this journey of self-acceptance and diving into learning medical aesthetics, figuring out what’s in our products, how they work for our skin and

Speaker 2 (02:37.612)

Now I’m the acne big sister. I’m here to help other people like really understand their relationship with beauty. Why do we feel that we need to show up a certain way? And then give you the information that actually allows you to like take control of here’s the products of things I’m choosing and here’s why I’m choosing them and why I’m going to make these work for me.

So did you ever find out what caused it?

Yes and no. So medically acne is always caused by the same things. We have this little acne bacteria in our skin. It’s totally normal and it’s called propionibacterium acne or cutie bacterium acne. It’s the cutest. It’s cutest. It means skin, but yeah, it’s cute, right? And for some people, their skin explodes with acne and other people have this bacteria and it doesn’t do anything.

never got pimples. It was crazy and I thought I would. was waiting and it just never happened.

You probably have the bacteria, your skin doesn’t react negatively to it, right? And that bacteria, like any living organism, it eats and it farts and shits and it produces waste, right? And this bacteria eats oil. So the bacteria needs to eat the oil in our skin and then it’s producing this waste. And when all of that is happening in this tiny little area in your skin called the pore, it can really swell up and get inflamed. And those are the key components of acne. Oil, inflammation, hormonal changes.

Speaker 2 (03:55.192)

and this clog. And for some people it takes over and it can be a really severe nodular cystic form of acne. For other people could be just blackheads or whiteheads. But all of those fall into the umbrella of acne. And those are the main causes. But then there’s things that people don’t talk about as much, such as how our stress levels impact our hormones and therefore impact our skin. How our sleep can impact our skin and our acne. How our food and what we’re eating

For some people, you can eat pizza and chocolate and be fine. And for someone else, it could cause really horrific breakouts depending on how their body reacts to it. there’s some science and there’s a lot of things that are very individual.

Yeah. Yeah. So what was the turning point with all of this? Cause I noted in, when I looked into it, you have one kidney so you couldn’t take Accutane or any of the more heavier medications yet.

Yes.

Speaker 2 (04:55.086)

Yeah, I also have two female reproductive systems. I have two vaginas and two uteruses. it looks like a Hold on. I was born a little funny and I didn’t find out about this until I was trying to go on Accutane and I was trying to go on drugs and the doctors were like, hey, so actually you’re probably not a match for this medication. Everything looks normal from the outside, but on the inside I was like supposed to be twins or something.

I don’t know what that means.

Speaker 2 (05:25.24)

No clue. Wow. I got like, I got some spaghetti.

Well, so like, well, I mean, I this is too deep of a question, but can you still have children normally? that?

Good question. Some people with this condition called uterus delphus, some people have, other people have a hard time. It’s not something I’ve particularly tried at this point, but yeah, I don’t know. But the reason that this was so interesting when I found out about it was because I thought, my God, this is the explanation to why my acne was so bad. Because I thought this is all hormone.

Interesting. Wow.

Speaker 1 (06:00.705)

thing right

I spoke to doctors and they tested my hormones and they were like, sorry, honey. like your one kidney, it functions at a hundred percent. So like you’re cool, but probably has no major impact on your skin. like, crack the cup.

Well, what ended up cracking the code?

For me, education, understanding the ingredients that actually work for acne that are medically proven, understanding holistic ones, and then all of those other factors such as sleep, stress, and diet. My journey specifically, there was a lot that was dietary that I needed to work on. I didn’t realize that, you know, I couldn’t process certain foods or that I would have stomach issues and that would lead to inflammation and stress. I was under a lot of stress at the time. Figuring out who I was, I think that’s still a journey that I’m on.

But like, that’s stressful. You put yourself in a bar. Yeah, you know, I gotta like show up and like be an adult today. Cheers to that.

Speaker 1 (06:57.206)

Yeah. Refuse.

Speaker 1 (07:03.34)

Yeah. OK, so specifically with your experience, what products worked for you and is there a nice foundation that will at least support others at the bare minimum?

Yes. The main thing that I learned is that there are four ingredients that have been proven medically time and time again to treat acne that you don’t need a prescription for and they’re considered non-drugs. And if you look, if you feel like you’ve tried everything, look at your skincare products and see if they contain these ingredients, because these are the ones that have been proven time and time again to help. And those four are benzoyl peroxide, which is basically just putting oxygen in the skin.

Then there’s salicylic acid, which actually comes from like the willow bark of trees. It’s similar to like aspirin. Then there’s sulfur, which is that element that smells like rotten eggs, but can really dry up pimples. And then retinoids, which are amazing for anti-acne, anti-scarring, anti-wrinkles. And fun fact, retinoids are actually made in our eyes, in the retina of our eyes. From eyeballs, like cannibal lector style. Not like cannibal lector ophthalmologist vibes, but

pulling it out from the...

Speaker 2 (08:14.882)

you know, from carrots, you can get it from animal or plant-based sources, but those are the four ingredients you actually want to look for. And you know, if you’re more mature skin, if you have wrinkles and acne and scars, maybe retinoids. If your skin is really oily, you might like benzoyl peroxide washes and you can combine them. And then of course there’s drugs that doctors or dermatologists can prescribe or give to you, but there’s also holistic things. Or the things like, a lot of people have seen benefit from tea tree. Obviously don’t put it direct on your skin, but.

full send, burn. But that’s actually been used in some hospital settings for disinfection and for cleaning. And so there are some of these therapies that while we don’t have the medical data behind them yet, like succinic acid, there’s some really promising results. And when combined with other therapies, they could be helpful.

And a lot of good anecdotes as well. Yeah. My mom was one of those big fans of essential oils like 20 years ago. So when I grew up, she would be like, we don’t need to do this. Just chuck some tea tree on it. Everything’s fixed with tea tree. But she was kind of on the money. Well, yeah. I mean, I was pretty healthy when I was younger and

Exactly.

Speaker 2 (09:19.561)

Did it work for you?

Speaker 1 (09:26.348)

Like I’d get cut and she’d cut and she would just like, tea tree, lavender, everything, all of it. And it seemed fine. And then all these studies start coming out about how this stuff is amazing and essential, it’ll blow up. I was like.

Some are helpful, some are harmful, but yeah, it’s like, yeah. And then the sourcing, you know, good water and fat. But it works for you. You don’t have acne.

Yeah.

Yeah, I I don’t know. I don’t know what it was, but I might hit puberty soon. We don’t know. It’s never too late, right? So, how did you switch? How did you change your diet as an example to improve the outcomes with acne?

Never too late.

Speaker 2 (10:06.47)

Yeah, the first thing was that doctors actually put me on elimination diets. My skin was really bad. Adam, it was horrible because here I also was in the modeling industry thinking that I had a healthy relationship with food. But honestly, like you’re walking on a runway and there’s like barely fruit, you know, and people didn’t eat for a day or two. And then there are interviews saying like, yeah, I love pizza.

And kind of like being faced with that reality once I stepped away from it was really, really interesting. And then all of these elimination diets, made me feel so deprived that then I would just, I want Nutella crepes and I would crave everything. And then obviously, you know, eating just like steamed broccoli with like chicken breast and then going to like full on Nutella crepes and French fries, probably not good for my body and not healthy overall.

So those elimination diets were really difficult for me and I didn’t have a dietician or a nutritionist to walk me through how to do something in a healthy way. So at first that was miserable because I couldn’t stick to it. And then when I was taking things like doxycycline or minocycline, which are antibiotics, you can’t eat those antibiotics with dairy. And then I’d be throwing up the antibiotics. Yeah, I was just feeling sick and it was awful. And basically just really struggled, didn’t know what to eat, didn’t know what to do.

Kids are having dairy.

Speaker 2 (11:24.182)

And then for animal rights reasons, I saw this video online of this guy. He was saying this is the best speech ever. I was asked to give a Ted talk and I was like, me, Ted talk. I don’t know if I could do that. So I looked up the best speech ever and it brought me down this rabbit hole. And it ended up being an animal rights video where this guy said, I’m going to show you what happens in a slaughterhouse. And I’m like, out, X out. And he says, I implore you if it’s not good enough for your eyes, why is it good enough for your stomach? and it’s painful.

I’ll see you that video. Crazy.

And it changed my perspective on things. And for the first time ever, it wasn’t, I’m depriving myself of this food or I can’t eat this. It’s, this is my choice. I’m choosing not to eat this for the planet, for the animals. And I had no idea it would impact myself. But I had stomach issues at the time. I had skin issues at the time. And when I cut out processed meats and dairy, like I used to like have to spit up loogies in the morning. You ever just like wake up and you’re like, you just gotta spit. I had to like,

I had to do that every single day when I stopped eating dairy that stopped happening. And I was like, why can I breathe so much easier? production just like plummeted for me, right?

and mucus production in a

Speaker 1 (12:31.342)

Yeah, I mean, everyone is different. That’s the thing. Everyone’s different. And some things work for people amazingly, and they don’t work for others, which is a carry up. But I think the important thing is to just try things.

Right. And like for some people, the carnivore diet works perfectly, right? But for me, I was just like so surprised by that. And then as I stuck to it, I was like, wait, this is actually really good for my skin and my body. And I still break out if I don’t use skincare. So there’s like the element of skincare and stress. Gosh, maybe eight years. But like for some people, you everyone’s biology is different. And that was actually something I had to learn when I was becoming a nutritionist and, you know, adjacent to medical aesthetics.

So are you vegan now still? I am. How long have been vegan for?

Speaker 2 (13:08.75)

And I was like, okay, some people process foods differently and our biological makeup is different. And I really hope that with everything that’s happening with AI, that we can get really personalized with medicine and care because there’s so much to be said about how our different genetics and our epigenetic changes react to literally what we put in every single day helps us rebuild our skin renews on average every 30 days. How can you tell me that what we’re putting in our bodies is not also impacting what we get out?

They say abs are built in the kitchen. if I know, but eating the vegetables and the nuts and the legumes, it sure makes me feel better.

Definitely. I mean, well, if you want to go down to the complete end point of the science of it, it’s all sunlight at the end of the day. It’s all trapped forms of sunlight in different ways.

Right, and that energy that’s being put into plants or plants eaten by animals that goes into...

It’s all the same. Those cells are just, it’s the synthesis of sunlight.

Speaker 2 (14:05.934)

That is cool. Yeah, that’s a really interesting way to think about

The core of it, Which is completely unrelated, but interesting. Did you end up having any solid sleep techniques that helped? Or have helped? yeah. You slept in days.

It is, no, it is.

Speaker 2 (14:19.438)

Honestly, my sleep is still something I’m working on. I’m from the San Francisco Bay area and I’m LASF, I’m obsessed with anything techie, like wearables. This ring, the aura ring, it helps me sleep. I have a mattress that tracks my sleep. And when I look at them, I can see that I look and feel different on different days. I’m like, wow. Even as a woman, my menstrual cycle, my skin,

the aura.

Speaker 1 (14:34.904)

yells at me.

I’d say.

Speaker 2 (14:49.09)

like shows up and looks completely different at different times of the month. And I’m like, wow, glowy, hydrated, fertile today.

I did a podcast with a lady named Holly Sinclair and she’s a fertility expert and we spoke about the whole cycle and everything.

Progesterone levels, that’s the big word that I like.

Big word, yeah. And even for men who like maybe run on a more 24 hour cycle, your hormones can impact your skin, your mood, all of that. But sleep, I need to optimize a little more. My best tips, red light therapy is actually really good for sleep. You like it? There’s some preliminary studies that are promising and I love it for my skin, so I’m like, let’s Mornings and at night, honestly, both. And then also just like,

So in the mornings.

Speaker 2 (15:37.664)

tracking my sleep, think awareness, being aware of sleeping or not sleeping and how it makes me feel the next day.

Yeah, I struggle if it’s not eight, nine hours. You can just, I just feel like a shell.

I can rule on six, which is not a good thing to be any sort of proud of.

Yeah, even I mean, it’s New York has definitely impacted my ability to sleep effectively. I thought of an interesting idea. Why don’t you know who Brian Johnson is? Let’s roast his blue. Let’s roast his skin care.

my god, are we gonna roast it? Okay, let’s do it. I’m so down. Let’s react to Brian Johnson’s insane morning routine.

Speaker 1 (16:14.126)

So he’s got my daily protocol wash face morning and night. Okay.

So I’ve actually seen so many people react to this and like recreate it. It’s like a viral trend right now. I actually haven’t seen it. So you’re going to see my often.

Well, this is me. I’m just reading off off his, uh, I don’t know.

gonna read it. we watch it? He filmed it. Okay, let’s watch. Let’s read it. Yeah, let’s react to it.

All right. Wash face morning and night. Are you tummy?

Speaker 2 (16:36.951)

With what?

Okay. Water in the morning. That’s a hot take. Some dermatologists and even myself, I don’t use a cleanser in the morning. Unless I have to. Only a cleanser at night to remove sunscreen and makeup. So yeah, water morning that works.

OK. Sunscreen with the mineral in it. Mineral sunscreen.

Literally, yes. Like sunscreen is probably one of the most important things you can do for your skin, for your long-term health. Mineral, chemical, use the one that works for you. Chemical also means organic. So organic and chemical are the same. Mineral and physical are the same. Use a sunscreen that doesn’t make you cry by burning your eyes. Use something you love and use it in place of your moisturizer. Like cut out a stub.

Yeah. Okay. And then moisturizing body and face. says target treatments use products containing the following active ingredients. Niacinamide, C morning typically in a serum, hyaluronic acid, hyaluronic acid, then tretinoin.

Speaker 2 (17:29.388)

that nice cinemagic.

Speaker 2 (17:44.576)

So that’s the retinoid I was telling you about. That’s actually really solid. That so checks out.

Okay. And then spot endocrine disruptors in skincare products, are manmade products that mimic or interfere in the hormone levels on the endocrine system linked to many health problems. And then he says, next supplementation of collagen 20 to 30 grams daily.

Okay, so collagen supplementation is a hot take because collagen is a protein. Yeah, most abundant protein in the body, but it’s made of three amino acids like proline and hydroxyproline. But if you eat collagen, your body really doesn’t know where it’s coming from. You could just eat healthy sources of protein, whether it’s animal protein, plant protein. If you’re getting enough protein, your body will make collagen. If you don’t have vitamin C in your diet, you can’t make collagen. Interesting. So it doesn’t actually matter what protein you eat, as long as you eat

a diverse array of amino acids, because your body breaks it down anyways, then vitamin C, and then it gets into the skin.

How many milligrams of vitamin C?

Speaker 2 (18:47.182)

That’s a question for someone that’s above my pay grade sir. Don’t know for sure, but enough that you don’t get scurvy and you actually can’t really do it on, overdo it on vitamin C because it’s water soluble. So if you take too much, you piss it out. like bell peppers have more vitamin C than an orange. Like snack on some bell peppers.

Okay, well most recommendations for collagen supplementation falls between two and a half grams, 15 grams daily, vitamin C, what do we got here, 1000 milligrams, 252,000 milligrams together.

Yeah. Yeah, together. my God. This is actually. OK. I was like, that part of his routine? That actually sounds like it’s a lot.

I just carried with that.

Speaker 1 (19:27.63)

pair with vitamin C to boost collagen synthesis. That’s exactly what he said. And then niacinamide again, and then highly uronic acid, 120 milligrams. And then he says, here are some pro tips. UV tinted windows to block 99 % of UV damage.

yeah, by the way.

Speaker 2 (19:46.56)

Smart, yes, excessive a little bit.

UV umbrella during high UV times.

Honestly, yeah, or the weird ass face masks, like the shields. You ever walk around the shields? We should go for a walk on the highway with our shields.

No, no.

Speaker 1 (20:02.094)

Okay, maybe we can do the podcast with the sheer, there we go, like a little quick talking podcast.

The sun shield segment.

microdosing, Accutane, Weekly.

Ooh, okay. what? For hair, for skin? That’s the same thing as the retinoid that I told you about. Same thing as, Accutane is a ton of it. Accutane or Roacutane, whereas tretinoin is the topical or on the skin version. And then the over-the-counter non-drug versions are retinol, retinal, or retinoic acid as there is.

I don’t know. Let just free skin.

Speaker 1 (20:42.21)

Yeah. Yeah. And then red light therapy three times a week. So that is his skincare routine. What would you give it out of 10?

Genuinely, this sounds like one of the better to best sinker teens I’ve ever seen from like a non medical doctor. All of those things are things that either have studies behind them or are proven to actually work. They’re in the correct orders. They don’t contradict each other. You know, they don’t cancel each other out. That’s like a 10. I don’t give 10.

Ten?

Speaker 2 (21:21.87)

Like less expensive. Or like water. Yeah. Like drink some water, eat some veggies. Cause I think that

He eats old veggies. He’s just like, it’s a crazy amount veggies.

Speaker 1 (21:33.87)

I think he’s plant-based for ethical reasons, not for like longevity reasons. He said that you can also eat chicken.

But not red main apparently. That’s genuinely, I’ve reacted to a lot of skin care routines, especially celebrity skin care routines. online, you have to talk about the celebrity that people want to click on. Yeah. Right?

Maybe this is a video you need to do.

Honestly, that sounds like one of the best skin care routines I’ve heard of in a long time. It has the basics, retinoids, sunscreen, don’t over strip your skin, spot treat. Yeah. Damn. All right. I’m very impressed. All right.

So I bought some random stuff off the internet.

Speaker 2 (22:14.543)

Get your thoughts! So, methylene blue and beef tallow.

OK, so Methyl and blue like.

It’s like a little, it’s like a thing that, cause I didn’t, I’m not a big sunscreen guy.

Okay, is the Methylene Blue, that like, you know, like...

Speaker 1 (22:31.058)

It’s in the beef tallow and you put it on your skin as a form of sunscreen. Anyway, that’s what I’m working with right now.

It’s in the beef side.

Speaker 2 (22:39.342)

That sounds interesting, to say the least. Total transparency. Even Caucasian skin has an SPF factor of three. Black skin has an SPF factor of 14. Even coconut oil has an SPF factor of five. That doesn’t mean it’s adequate sun protection based on the current state of our world and ozone and everything. Yeah, yeah.

Australia

The beef tallow thing, not great for acne. When we look at what beef tallow is, it is essentially fat, you know, fat from beef. It has ceramides, it has lipids. It’s more of a sealant because there’s not really a lot that’s hydrating about it unless it’s mixed in with other stuff. It’s basically, we’re gonna seal in the hydration with an oil layer since oil and water separate. So any water that you have in your skin won’t escape.

Kind of similar as like, you know, people who rub coconut oil on their skin or any other fatty substance. If you like it, continue. You do look really good.

I have no... My skin is... I’m the worst person for this because I don’t use sunscreen, I don’t use moisturizer, I don’t wash my face, I look like I’m 21 and I’m nearly... and I’m 33 this year.

Speaker 2 (23:57.742)

Good genetics. Negative 17 for the nose on screen. but not sorry. My skin is crawling. Let’s make sure you don’t get those basal cell carcinomas. Let’s do some mulch.

All those places. I have done the mold checks. think we’re chilling, but I probably should check again.

Like yearly? No, yeah. ABCDEFGs of skin cancer, sir.

remains, but.

Well, you should definitely get first off, they asymmetric? This is like this is what people should write down. Are they asymmetrical? So if you cut it down the middle, are they completely even or does the molar the blemish look weird on both sides? B is the border. Is it very clean cut or is it like a little bit bumpy and a little bit weird? C is the color. Is it all one color or is it a different color? D is the diameter. Is it larger or smaller than a pencil eraser?

Speaker 2 (24:54.11)

And E, is it evolving? Is it changing? You want to make sure that if there’s a yes to any of those A, B, C, D, E’s, you go get it checked out. No, you go get it cut out with most surgeries. Better to get it biopsied because skin cancer is so treatable and preventable. And if it metastasizes, it can go elsewhere in the body. One of the easiest things and life saving things that people can do is just make sure that you’re getting those moles checked. And people don’t realize you can have moles on places that never saw the sun either. So sun.

on screen on it.

Speaker 2 (25:23.306)

exposure and sunscreens dramatically increase your chance and likelihood of skin cancer. But it is possible to like have a mole that showed up in some place that’s normally clothed and it just happened to be a little bit malignant. So.

Dang. Okay, well, I’ll that to my yearly checkup with my doctor when I go back to Australia.

Tell them you know your ABCDE’s, be so impressed.

So you mentioned the hormonal components of acne and it linking to the gut as well. What are your thoughts around hormonal meds like birth control for acne prevention?

Great question. In general, totally different conversation. But for acne prevention, there have been medical studies showing that when some people get on birth control, their skin clears up. Why? And when some people get off birth control, you know, or when some people get on, it ruins their skin. And when they get off, it clears up. The reason why is because all acne has a hormonal component. Your hormones control how fast your skin turns over, how much oil your skin produces. There’s literally testosterone, you know,

Speaker 2 (26:33.816)

DHT basically how much your skin produces oil, what that oil consists of based on hormonal changes, because hormones are the messengers of the body, right? And birth control is manipulating or modifying hormones, usually for the purpose of preventing pregnancy. And so those hormones, progesterone, everything, estrogen, testosterone, all of that can dramatically impact our skin, even our bone health, how resilient our bones are, all of it.

And so it is a proven medical treatment. It’s a drug option, but it’s a medical treatment for some people.

Are there any natural ways to tackle this?

birth control or like, like, that’s a good question.

Kids, it’s called the pull out method.

Speaker 2 (27:21.23)

you

Not talking from experience, God no. No, mean natural ways to manage hormones. I know that I’ve heard of the raw carrot salad. Apparently that thing’s crazy. Have you heard about this?

You

Speaker 2 (27:31.214)

It’s horrible.

Speaker 2 (27:37.345)

Yeah. No, but I think that food is one of the easiest ways that people can balance their hormones. Cause think about it, hormones aren’t all bad. They’re healthy, right? But you have to make sure that they’re balanced and working in the ways that they need. And you are going to have different hormones than I do and different balances of them. So the best thing is get a test, do cortisol testing with spit or get a blood test, see where your hormones are at. So you actually know what’s working and what’s not. And then one of the easiest things you can do is eating.

Eating dramatically changes so many hormones from leptin, our hunger and our ability to feel full, from how our body produces or reacts to cortisol. We have something in the morning called the cortisol awakening response. When we wake up, our stress shoots up and it wakes us up and that’s essential. And that little bit of stress is super helpful. Just like going to the gym and damaging your muscles to make them stronger, it’s great. If you have long-term chronic stress, chronic cortisol that’s not

at three in the morning.

Speaker 2 (28:34.764)

being resolved, it can dramatically impact your brain function, your body’s ability to store or metabolize different foods and therefore how it holds onto visceral fat or that unhealthy fat that surrounds your organs. And all of that can be managed by, are you eating meals or are you fasting in a way that is compatible with your body? And so number one, get a baseline of where your hormones are at. And then number two, food you can dramatically manipulate. And then also like,

Is it croissants that are like high glycemic foods that we know cause a spike in our blood sugars and therefore insulin and testosterone? Or is it stuff that, an estrogen, or is it stuff that is more fiber? And also when you eat. So if you eat right after a workout, it’s actually really good to eat carbs so that you can rebuild those muscles and protein. Yeah, exactly. Cause you need to replenish the glycogen that your muscles just used. But

Black engine still is right.

Speaker 2 (29:32.846)

you know, if you’re like me, you know, eating broccoli for three days, cause the doctor told you to do an elimination diet. And then you’re like, yo, it’s, it’s crepes and bacon time and Nutella. It’s probably not going to be the healthiest. And that’s why, yeah. And that’s why for some people, keto is really hard because even if they’re sticking to a keto diet and they’re in ketosis, if they binge eat on weekends or they have those cheat days, you’re basically be eating the SAD, the standard American diet. And that’s why any diet that’s really extreme like that.

can be hard if people aren’t able to stick to it properly.

Yeah, that makes sense. I looked at the rare raw carrot salad. So basically it’s this viral salad. This guy called a repeat. Yeah, he’s

Yes, tell me with that.

Speaker 2 (30:15.15)

He repeats his eating habits every day.

His name is Ray P. Yeah. And he has like, he’s a holistic nutritionist and this raw carrot diet basically bind excess estrogen and endotoxins in a digestive tract, helping to eliminate them. Stay, yeah, it’s beneficial for people with estrogen dominance, state where estrogen levels are high relative to progesterone, which is linked to PMS, heavy and painful periods, headaches, acne and bloating. Really interesting.

Mm. And carrots actually have beta carotene, which is a retinoid, which react like that goes in. It’s an acne treatment.

Yeah, so maybe the carousel could be super helpful for people struggling with acne.

Vitamin C, vitamin A, maybe. I mean, listen, I don’t think eating carrots is going to be harmful for anyone. eat too many carrots, you turn orange though. That’s fine. Temporarily. You just be a little oompa loompa. But give me the recipe. I kind of want to try it.

Speaker 1 (31:08.694)

It’s literally shaved carrots, sea salt, olive oil and apple cider vinegar. I mean, guess so, it tastes surprisingly delicious. Really? Yeah, I had it wheat daily for a while there.

Okay, like put something else

Speaker 2 (31:23.108)

Did it help you improve your hormonal function?

I got to know everything was fine. I’m just a natural athlete and blessed.

I’m perfect and I perfect.

Speaker 2 (31:32.396)

And my mom gave me essential oils as a kid, so.

Yeah, that’s right. walk on my toes. Yeah. And I get to a little twitchy eye sometimes.

Okay, got it, got it.

Speaker 2 (31:46.21)

That’s fun. You actually walk on your toes. don’t ever. I love that. Yeah. little.

I think I’m just autistic.

Speaker 1 (31:54.761)

Neurosplasty walk, yeah that’s what I got. So I went on a date a while ago and this girl was like, oh you have like a really cute bouncy walk and I’m like, oh it’s because I’m autistic. And she was like, oh.

Do do do

Speaker 2 (32:07.288)

He’s like, that’s a lot too high.

And then she’s like, you know what? I think we should just be friends.

You gotta rhythm with a tism, okay? You gotta. Like, you just have to.

Speaker 1 (32:21.027)

No, no and on another episode of a of mystery

you

shit. Okay. Let me digress. Just quickly, though, I love doing this podcast. If it’s positively impacted you in some way and you would like to support us, please subscribe. By subscribing, it allows us to build a much bigger base of listeners, which results in better guests, better production and a better show overall. Alternatively, please take a look at the affiliate links of the products that I use and love in the comments below.

and consider purchasing using those links. They’ll give you a discount and they’ll also provide the podcast a small kickback. These are two very easy ways for you to support us as we continue to grow the podcast that we absolutely love doing. Thank you for your support and I’m back to the episode. I want to jump into the moment when you revealed your face with acne and all.

on YouTube and went viral, the whole career fell apart by the sounds of it. What were you feeling in that moment? Why did you do it? And then what led from it?

Speaker 2 (33:36.189)

The first moment that I decided to do it actually doesn’t exist anymore because I decided I want to be a part of this group of girls that talks about their skin and their makeup. I want to be a part of that community since I am not a part of this community at school. I have no one to talk to. People are being mean to me. I love my mom. She doesn’t do makeup. She rides motorcycles and raises chickens. Can you ride a motorcycle? I can. do. Dual sport. Nice. Anyways, but like that’s my mom. So I wanted to be a part of this community.

but I was still so insecure about my acne. I vividly remember filming at the sink, my parents sink, was 15, 16, I’m washing, maybe 16, 17, I’m washing the makeup off and then I stopped recording on the camera and then I went and I applied light powder so you could still see the blemishes but it was like way less. Way less, yeah, like that, like it was awful. And then, you know, I picked back up, I was like, this is my skin, let me put more layers on and I was editing it and I couldn’t post it. Because it was a lot.

somewhere? No.

2009 laptop. Okay. It probably got water spilled on it and the battery exploded. Yeah. But like I couldn’t even post it because I was like, this is so fake. And to me, one of my core values is authenticity. Yeah. And I couldn’t, I think it was like six, maybe three to six months later, I was doing like nail polish reviews online and like other stuff to try to be a part of this community. And I was like, I don’t see anyone else talking about this. This is literally what got me through every day. And the feelings were

Super nervous. The feeling of anonymity, a little bit safe because no one knew what a YouTube was. This was a group of girls on this random corner of the internet that no one knew about. It wasn’t like I was broadcasting it. when you post something online, you want people to see it. I was like, this is like my little secret. This is our little group chat.

Speaker 1 (35:16.684)

It’s not like it is now.

Speaker 1 (35:23.502)

I’ve heard that before with early YouTubers. I’ve had a few friends that are really big in YouTube and they said the exact same thing. Yeah, I just posted this little thing and then my friends started seeing it at school and I was like, fuck.

But nobody like nobody watched it. And at first, you know, I was crying before I filmed it and you could kind of hear it in my voice and you could like see the sniffles. But I was basically just trying to reach this group of girls who are posting and then also anyone who was struggling because I didn’t know anyone else who was able to cover it the way that I was. And like dude, I was booking work as a model. I was like, I exist in two different bodies. This is really weird. Really weird.

And after I posted it, I was actually really scared of the response because of what had been told to me at school. So I didn’t log in for six months. I literally backed away from the internet for six months. And when I came back, it had views and it had comments and I was scared. It was awful. And I also came back at a time that I was in a really, like it was like my first relationship and I was like really, really unhealthy. So there was a lot going on in my life at the time.

God.

Speaker 2 (36:35.565)

And essentially that video started blowing up and it was posted in 2010. It wasn’t until 2012 I was filming a Victoria’s Secret makeup tutorial. My parents living on the floor. And I get this phone call and I pick it up and this girl’s like, hey, my name’s Ali.

Robin Roberts wants to talk to you on Good Morning America tomorrow. Can you? And I was like, what’s a Robin Roberts? What’s a Good Morning America? I grew up with one kidney and no TV. Like, I didn’t know what this was. She was like, well, we’re in New York City. We want you here tomorrow. And I was like, well, I’d have to call my mom and like figure out how to get out there. She’s like, oh, no, no, no, we’d book your flight. I was like, Next thing you know, it’s 4 a.m. It’s 7 a.m. here, 4 a.m. in my brain. And I’m sharing my acne tips with my curly hair that I can’t control that I was always bullied for.

on national television and Andrea, like the guy who sings the Italian opera, who’s blind, like my dad listened to like on repeat from my entire childhood. I was like sitting there in the corner. I’m just like, what’s happening? Insane. And all of a sudden my biggest insecurity was national news. I saw all these articles about me. People from my school then started popping up and like saying things and I would lose modeling gigs.

They were like, hey, we know what you actually look like. We’re going to dip out of this campaign. They’re like, this is bad PR. And I felt like my life was falling apart. I was in an awful relationship. There was lots that was happening. It was very bad, all accumulating. And I thought my life was over. And I’ve had multiple moments in my life like that. I’ve struggled with mental health. I’ve been really open about it. But I thought my life was over. And little did I know that that was when my life was beginning. It was pushing me in a direction of finding my passion.

what I’ve personally experienced and how I can help others through that pain, what I care about and what I understand so viscerally. And it gave me this unrelenting passion to want to understand it, to study this, to learn about it and to try to help other people and learn these ideas, be in this comment section, build these communities that are based on the education and the products that we’re using and not just what we look like when we leave the door every day. was the best worst thing that ever happened.

Speaker 1 (38:47.532)

Yeah. Wow. That’s a wild. Yeah, yeah, it sounds like it.

I got like a $6,000 check from YouTube and I was like, wait, I can make money on this? Excuse me? Yeah. Like one day, six grand. I was like, that’s a thing. It was weird. It was weird. And I never saw it as a business until later on. And I was like, wait, I can provide value and get paid for the value I provide? Yeah. Perfect. Business growly.

You

Speaker 1 (39:16.113)

100%. Nice. So, well, I’d like to move into the mental health a little bit. So it seems like this period of you growing up was pretty tumultuous, to say the least. And I’ve experienced bullying as well. I’m guessing not even close to the extent that you have, I know just being like poor and weird and yeah.

about being on your tip toes?

Speaker 2 (39:46.04)

Those are the ones that fun to hang out with though, let’s be honest.

I mean, it’s great now, but yeah, it was tough, right? So, and it messes with you and it stays with you. So, old are you now? I’m 32 as well.

32. 92. Yeah.

What

tips do you have for people struggling with mental health around bullying, potentially around body image and that whole ecosystem of existing that has helped you?

Speaker 2 (40:29.41)

I think the first is understanding that there’s no denying that it happens and that it’s hard and you can feel so isolated and so alone. And one of the hardest things for me was growing up, I didn’t know that we had a history of mental health issues in the family. And when my younger brother started doing substances or when my cousins were struggling or when I was struggling, it was very much, we put on a good face, we don’t talk about this. It’s shameful. There is nothing shameful about asking for help.

It actually takes like the most confidence and courage and bravery to speak about something that is hard or difficult or plaguing you and to ask for help. Like that is huge and that should be celebrated. And I think back to the times when someone has asked me for help and my God, what a gift it was to feel like I could make an impact in someone else’s life. And I think if you’re struggling, number one, acknowledge it. Whatever you’re feeling, as crazy as it feels, it’s valid.

to ask for help, it’s okay. It’s a form of strength. And number three, you might actually be giving someone a gift of being able to help you. I felt like a burden my entire life. And so I never wanted to burden someone with literally eating breakfast at the table with my parents. I was like, I am so ugly. I am ruining their quality of life by being here. I need to put on makeup before I go eat breakfast. I felt like a burden. That was not, but like recognizing

Yeah. Such a rough place to be.

Speaker 2 (42:00.172)

The underpinnings of that, like where did that come from? Going to therapy? I’ve been a lot there. Like a second of therapy. she’s very subtle.

So you went to therapy.

Speaker 1 (42:09.955)

I love therapy. mean, I think it’s so useful and helpful.

I mean, the idea that you can actually understand yourself and where things come from, and then maybe through yourself, other people. Wow. You can connect better, communicate better. Wow. But I’ve had to be institutionalized. I’ve been in the hospital against my own will because I was a danger to myself. It was hard. I’ve had friends and family members who have gone through the same thing. I then worked in emergency medicine where I was helping other people who were literally

coming into the hospital or coming into an ambulance on the very worst days of their lives. And that took a toll on me too. I’m very empathetic and like that was rough. But there’s so much that we deal with and as humans, I think the essence of being human is connection. It’s connecting with others. It’s supporting each other storytelling. That’s why it works. But that’s also why like we’re meant to connect with each other. And if you can speak about that, get the support you need, build a toolkit.

Understand yourself. Who knows, you might be able to turn that pain or that thing into your passion that actually helps others and therefore helps you. it’s terrifying. Terrifying.

Yeah, I mean, it’s scary. Even to face it, it’s scary. Because a lot of people, you maybe you’re so afraid that you won’t survive it.

Speaker 2 (43:29.686)

Maybe, but is it worse to not survive it and to give up and to not survive it or to face it and survive it and see if maybe you can? Or if there’s a chance that things could turn out in a way that, you know, that little negative thing in your brain couldn’t have imagined could happen.

I mean, if you went back, how old were you when this got really bad?

I mean, I think 16, 17, again, the relationship that I was in, I didn’t value myself. And that really showed up in how I allowed other people to treat me. And so that was really rough. And then compound that with all of the other things. And then the pressures of the modeling industry or the pressures of X, Y, and Z. I think that was awful. And then in my early 20s as well, had another

you know, really rough patch. And even like two, three years ago, I was like losing my hair. I was so stressed out, struggling with like an identity crisis, personal issues, work issues, even just like those feelings of inadequacy that come up and take over. Like I was that girl with acne, even when my skin is fully clear, when I don’t have these little blemishes, I always see and treat myself as the girl who has acne. It’s my mom used to be overweight. She was morbidly obese and she lost a bunch of weight, but she...

says, like, I always feel like the fat girl. always feel like XYZ. Because her body, her hormones changed after she gave birth. And I really resonated with that feeling of, I just feel like I’m always the girl with acne. Even though I know that’s not true. You just, always hold on to some of those pieces.

Speaker 1 (45:03.638)

Yeah. It’s interesting. The challenges you face allow you to understand humans and their experiences as well.

The people that don’t have serious life-threatening challenges aren’t really, they don’t understand most of the human experience. So as weird as it sounds, it’s made you so much more effective as a human because you just understand humans better.

yeah, in a way it’s awful and I would never wish it upon someone else and I would never want to go through it again, but I’m glad those things happened in a way. Because I learned so much about myself, about others through myself. And look at this, like acne, the thing that literally almost killed me multiple times, it literally gave me the reason that I live and wake up every day and I’m excited and I’m invigorated. It’s like crazy. I get to help other people.

through this, get to touch their faces. They’re entrusting me with their bare skin, their biggest insecurity, their body’s biggest protector. And they’re endowing me with the opportunity to be a part of their journey. Biggest gift. Yeah. Yeah. It is insane to think about. You know, when I don’t want to say it’s a monolith, I don’t want to say that every single person can turn their biggest vice into their passion or their career. But yeah, honestly,

Yeah. That’s the cra-

Speaker 1 (46:39.662)

I’ve seen others can.

Why not? And like for me, that was the experience and I’m so grateful that it happened. If I could go back, I wouldn’t redo having acne. would have gone through it.

Yeah, I’ve thought about that and in the past there’s been some very key moments in my life where, you know, I’ve gotten pretty close to the edge and I’ve been like extremely depressed or anxious or sad or gone through some really hard things and you kind of look at who you are today while I look at who I am today and I go, well, I wouldn’t be this person without all of that and I kind of like who I am right now. So unfortunately, gotta keep it. Gotta keep it.

I gotta keep it. And also like if you’re really, really struggling again, like reach out, also like give yourself a couple months. Like, okay, if I don’t feel hope or if I don’t feel better once in six months, you know, but just the way like I used to push homework deadlines, maybe I could push other deadlines that I arbitrarily give myself. And I’m like, wow, I felt hope today or wow, I felt invigorated or excited about something today. If I could feel that once, maybe I could do it again.

Yeah, yeah, I went to Tony Robbins’ Date With Destiny in December and he has this video of this guy where he, there’s one of the nights is like suicide night. Have you heard about this? No. Yeah, one of his like days is he basically sits with, he says, is anyone feeling suicidal right now? And like someone comes up, you know, people put their hands up and then he talks through all of it with people. And it was,

Speaker 1 (48:12.334)

It was interesting. This guy comes up and he is, you know, saying he’s feeling suicidal, et cetera. And they have this dialogue for like 10 minutes and then he starts to crack like into a bit of like a smile and things. And Tony stops him and goes, no, no, no, this is not part of the brand. What are you doing? And it was, it kind of threw him off. You know, can’t be like that. That’s bullshit. Like you’re depressed. You want to kill yourself. No smiling. And it was funny. I like remember noticing that and thinking that’s.

It’s an interesting shift because it allows people to go, you know what? Yeah, maybe I feel really bad right now, but there are moments that are still beautiful and fun. And the more you focus on those, the more you end up, I think, getting more of them in a strange way.

my God, so this reminds me, last night I was talking with Gary Vee and we were talking about social media algorithms and how I was personally noticing a lot of my friends and family around me and even myself, like it’s always a negative headline. That’s what attracts views, right? And he’s like, don’t forget how much power you have over those algorithms. It sounds just the same. It’s like, there are those moments that are so fulfilling and if you focus on them, you’ll see more of them. And Gary Vee was really like yelling it into me and he’s like,

Just spend an hour looking up happy stuff. Like my algorithm’s not negative. was like damn boy. Damn. It’s valid.

Yeah, it’s valid. I have recently gotten onto Twitter, especially since being in America, because it’s much more US focused. And I went down, I’ve gone down a really rough rabbit hole. But now I’m realizing that I’m in the rabbit hole and I’m now blocking the pages that I was really into. Because I’m like, you know, I’ve got the information from this now I need to switch the algorithm into something else.

Speaker 2 (50:00.462)

I love that that awareness. And that’s hard to like cut ties with things. Especially if it’s something that you used to like love or find comfort in. Like sometimes that’s part of growing up. listen, you can’t grow into who you’re meant to be if you don’t let go of who you are today. Whether that’s the identity of depression or I’m the girl with acne. I’m like, no, I’m the acne big sister or I’m a follower of this Twitter account. No, blocked.

Goodbye, old friend.

That was a nice chat, John.

Wrapping up, have a few just general questions about life and living it. what’s the biggest thing over the last two years you’ve changed your mind on?

My sexuality, hot take. It’s hard because I thought of myself as a certain way. Growing up, my first kiss was with my best friend who was a girl. And I had a really traumatic experience with a guy that was my first and only boyfriend. And then I dated a girl after that and I was traumatically heartbroken and I was single and celibate for eight years. I did not kiss anyone.

Speaker 1 (50:46.647)

Interesting time.

Speaker 2 (51:15.374)

hold hands with anyone, go on a single date for eight years. And a few years ago, a whole bunch of stuff happened in my life and my hair was falling out and I was like, wait a second, who am I? Who am I attracted to? You know, where do I fit in that box? Where do I fit on this scale of things? And looking at my past experiences, going through now like a decade of therapy, I’m like, well, maybe I didn’t have the best experiences to shape my future choices on. And I am very,

aware of what I want out of life. want a ride or die partner who’s going to be there for me. Someone who I walk in, I light up a room, someone who’s going to do the same thing. Someone who’s going to support me, but has their own thing going on and going to change the world for better. Yeah, actually. Good, good, good. Well, had my first kiss and listen, first kiss in eight years was in June. And then the person ended up not being who I thought this person was. And that was disappointing. I was like, I made out with this. Damn it. Damn it. But hey, was.

Have you held any hands yet?

Speaker 1 (52:12.398)

It’s a volume game, keep going.

I was 30 and I had only kissed five people. Anyways, we’re changing that. The long story, it’s been really traumatic. And then I had to like dig down deep and be like, okay, there was a lot with my acne that made me feel unworthy of love. Even now I’m like, I don’t like, I didn’t want people to see my skin or my back, which stopped me from being intimate with people. Sexual trauma, scars on my skin, or even just the idea of like, what does it mean? I identify as female. What does it mean to be a woman? Like, you know.

what is my value beyond what I look like and beyond what I am or am not sexually like, huh, that’s a lot. I’m I’m not even out.

These are very old problems that think people have been concerned about for many years. solutions did you get to come up with?

And to face them and so that’s really, really rough. I’m a human and I’ve realized that... Yeah. I’m almost Indian. I am as human. And I have the ability of finding things in other humans that I find exceedingly attractive and that I’m really enamored and inspired by. And sometimes there’s a physical intimacy part to that. Other times it’s personality wise.

Speaker 1 (53:05.102)

That’s a good start.

Speaker 2 (53:26.712)

But I think I’m still figuring that out. And so what I’m doing, I’m going on dates and I’ve like kissed more than five people now. So yeah, that’s a big thing. I literally, I like the first three kisses. I was like, Hey, have you ever had a cold sore? Like, do you have herpes simplex wine? Like have you ever eaten pork? H. pylori? Like I was neurotic. It was awful.

Fuck yeah, let’s go.

Speaker 1 (53:45.036)

old source, so you know.

Most of the population does. I literally would interview this person in the heat of the moment. I’m like so

H-Pylo is a natural natural gas.

It is, it’s a natural gut and more than 50 % of the people have it. But like, look at how I was showing up. Like I was a little neurotic. We’re getting over that anxiety. It’s exposure therapy.

It’s exposure therapy. Go and run down the street and make out with boys and do a series on it.

Speaker 2 (54:18.254)

Yeah, it’s a lot. And it was like June of last year that I was like, well, here we are. And that’s a lot too, especially because I identify so strongly one way for so long and I’m confused. There’s a lot of gender identities out there. A lot of cool people. I’m attracted to humans exclusively, so I guess that’s a start.

So are you now buying?

Speaker 1 (54:42.742)

Yes. What is that? I feel like there’s a name for that.

California? Sorry. I think pansexual. I was like, oh, cooking pans.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Somebody’s attracted to a vibe.

sapiosexual? Yeah, mean, listen, if I’m not attracted to someone’s personality, if they’re not intellectually stimulating, like, I’m not interested, but...

Yeah.

Speaker 2 (55:08.386)

Will that change in five years? I don’t know.

Yeah. Well, I did a podcast last week. We released it with, this lady named Laurie Cooper. She’s a, she’s, she’s a New Yorker that does real estate, but her whole thing is dating and real estate. She’s real estate agent, but she’s gone into dating contact and she’s in her eighties and she’s just like, girls, this is where you go in New York city to do exercise and she does these meetups. And we did this whole podcast on what 80 years of

And cheese!

Speaker 1 (55:40.61)

marriage and dating experience lessons she might have. Just was listening to it again, because I listened back to most of the episodes and I was listening back to it. one of the interesting things she said was, you really got to just like the conversation basically. That’s because, and I’ve been thinking about this because looks fade, but all you have left with someone that you end up marrying and being with for your whole life is a conversation. And

I actually love

Speaker 1 (56:09.152)

As long as the conversation is amazing, that will be the only thing that carries you through. So marry or date somebody who you are happy to have a conversation with for the rest of your life. And I really like that framing. Also, hopefully they’re hot and you want to like fuck them, like the rest of it.

Yeah, or core value alignment. think that kind of goes into conversations. If you have a core value of how many you can about it. Yeah. No, or like, you know, everyone’s like, oh, I married my best friend. I’m like, that sounds so nice. Yeah. All my best friends are married or not interested.

Yeah, my best friend’s a bloke. With two kids and a partner living in Australia, so that’d be kind of weird.

good!

Speaker 2 (56:46.83)

Yeah, a little. Yeah, that was huge and life changing. And like the stress I felt, I actually broke out. And then there goes that cycle of, oh, I have acne and like I’m breaking out on my chest and my back. Like, how am I supposed to even get close to someone? How am I even supposed to wear a dress like this on a date? Like, oh, and here come all those insecurities from before. And I haven’t spoken about that at all. Other than with friends and therapy. So like, hi, Internet. Here we are. That was I mean, it’s so rough.

Yeah, yeah. We are. But it’s like you’ve been here before. So maybe you come out of the hole a little bit faster.

Yeah. Hopefully. Or maybe I just dig my way back into Narnia. Like I was so far into the closet. it was rough. Yeah. Well, and like, yeah, even, even before that, you know, just putting labels on myself, trying to understand where I fit in with those things. And then just be like, honestly, it’s like a moment of, is this overwhelming? Fuck it.

I used a long time. That’s a long time.

Speaker 1 (57:45.39)

Man, I got to like a month.

No, but like it was overwhelming to try to box myself in. I’m like, I don’t know what I am. I don’t know how I identify. I don’t know who I am. I am human and I am here. So I’ll just show up and try my best. Yeah. Yeah. But it’s rough, you know?

Yeah, I think that’s what you can do.

Speaker 1 (58:02.414)

think you figure it out.

I hope so. You will. I think I love your confidence in my ability.

You’ve done plenty of so far, so why can’t you figure this one out? It doesn’t mean it’s easy. You figure it out.

This one feels harder. Yeah, but like this is harder than like putting myself out there on the internet. Really?

Why don’t we start a new channel purely for your dating life? It’s gonna be funny and fun and it’ll be interesting. I could say now like eight years celibate. That’s a good, that’s a good.

Speaker 2 (58:25.08)

What a sad dating take.

Speaker 2 (58:35.566)

Single and Solibet like did not- No but what my mom ever see that- What did my dad ever see that-

Let her. Let her. That’d be great. If my kid was like, I’m worried about my kid just, you know, sleeping around. No, my daughter’s been eight years salivating. That’s great. That’s the best outcome for like a dad. Singular salivating is a good handle.

and I’m

Speaker 1 (59:04.129)

sh-

Oh look it’s my dating life, it’s Colin. It’s like hello. It’s like hey start that channel.

yeah, that’s so good. That’s so good. Yeah, Well, keep me updated because I’m not invested. I would subscribe.

Here we are.

Speaker 2 (59:20.082)

I feel like it’s so unhinged. It’s like, you know, if I ever end up becoming a dermatologist like, hello, Dr. Banks and I saw your single and celibate podcast. I don’t know. need to maintain my, I don’t know. And then, you see those Instagram comments. Some things are about our left-hand side. Like I don’t want to be the person on that, on that person’s feed, you know? Or don’t fucking. Depends, depends.

Your composure

Speaker 1 (59:41.016)

but also fuck him.

Speaker 1 (59:48.416)

nice. Alright, well that was not where I was expecting that to go but I’m here for it. What is the kindest thing someone’s ever done for you?

Oh gosh, oh I’m gonna cry. There have been so many people who have done so many kind things for me. I think one that immediately comes to mind is I was in Italy and I was planning on doing a little meet and greet, like an impromptu meet up with some subscribers who had struggled with acne and wanted to meet. I was in this foreign country and my phone was dead and my dad was gone and I didn’t know where I was. And I was there, this is like the day after a very proliferate, like a very famous fashion designer called me way too fat.

and was like, why did you even show up to this casting? I like, I flew across the world for this, thanks. Which again, body image issues don’t even get me started. And so I’m showing up to this cafe, trying to like get them to plug in my phone with like my adapter and the Italian man is like, it’s for customers only. And I was like, I’ll be a customer. My dad has to get back. He has my purse because he was holding it. Like, please, please, please. I need to meet up with these friends. Like they’re waiting for me. I promised them I was going to be there. I’m lost in this foreign city.

I’m like, I was feeling hopeless, lost, abandoned alone. And this guy’s like, no, it’s for customers only. And I was like digging through my pocket, trying to find like the coins that I had to purchase like the smallest thing. I was like, what’s the cheapest thing? He’s like, gelato. I was like, okay. Like I was trying to purchase this and I didn’t have enough money. And I, my phone was dead. I couldn’t reach my dad. Abandonment is just like, I felt like I was just lost and I’m in this cafe and I just start crying. And this stranger comes up to me and

literally puts the gelato down in front of me and was like, I heard you needed gelato. Don’t worry about it. And literally gives me the gelato and then gets my phone charged. And I was just like, I burst into tears and I was like, this stranger doesn’t even know me. They just spent money on me. They probably just think I’m some bitch that wants a fucking ice cream. And then like they literally just reconnected me to my feeling of safety, of community, of connection, of being able to navigate this world. It’s my first time here.

Speaker 2 (01:01:54.636)

One of the nicest things a stranger has ever done for this lady that probably looked crazy speaking English in a foreign cafe. And that’s a moment that will always stick with me, the kindness of that stranger.

How old were you when that happened?

23 maybe?

How did that impact the way you showed up for other people moving forward? If at all.

Give when you can, help when you can. Kindness.

Speaker 2 (01:02:23.5)

It’s the long game. This is something Gary Vee was saying last night too, because I’ve also been told I’m too kind in my work. Like you’re too kind. Or sometimes like I’m too permissive of things, you know, or like when I had acne, I didn’t demand respect for myself and therefore people disrespected me because I allowed them to. Right. And sometimes that shows up like if you’re too nice, are you going to get taken advantage of? Like if you’re too nice, are you going to be treated differently? But Gary was even talking last night and he’s like, listen, kindness is a core value of mine because I’m in it for the long game.

And if you’re in it for the long game, you’re not trying to stab someone in the back or be a stickler. Just be kind. And like know your value, but like be kind. And I think it really instilled and solidified for me that moment of give when you can, be kind when you can. And like, you never know how the smallest thing will change someone’s life. Imagine if I was about to go commit suicide that day. And like some little thing like that helped.

There’s probably plenty of moments like that that have actually occurred.

I’ve heard a lot of them. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, I mean, look, people saying you’re too kind, like they, you know, the big five personality traits. Have you heard of this? So basically everybody’s on a spectrum of these five different personality traits from the scene. Say like one to 10. And it’s just, I don’t know, but there’s the five of them are openness to experience, conscientiousness, extraversion, agreeableness and neuroticism. So you’re just high. No, I mean, you’re just high in agreeableness and there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s just a different type of person.

Speaker 2 (01:03:49.256)

agreeable I’m like listen that works for them I used to be like this is the only way this is the right way black or white thinking this is right this is wrong dude everything’s on a spectrum including my sexuality like what the hell listen what’s right for you if it doesn’t harm yourself or others live in let loose

Yeah. Someone said a really funny sentence that I’d never heard of before and I use all the time now. Don’t yuck somebody’s yum. I never heard that joke last year. Last year? I’m not on the internet or following.

But like in New York, idea America you hear that like h6. Okay

That’s a new one, but I liked it. I liked it a lot. Don’t yuck my yum. Yeah.

That hurts.

Speaker 1 (01:04:31.15)

You know what? I have a similar story that has really shifted the way I’ve approached kindness as well. I’m at 222. We just got the back. We’ve gotten back from Coachella. We were dust. My friend and I were dusty and tired and we are sitting waiting to pay for our petrol, I guess, at the petrol station in our hire car. And he would goes to pay and his car’s not working.

And he’s getting frustrated because he’s got no serotonin left. this guy next to us goes, oh, don’t worry about it. I’ll pay it. It was like 20 bucks. And I look at him and I go, I’ll give you some money. said, no, don’t worry. Pay it forward. And then ever since then, pretty much every week, I’ve tried to pay it forward for the, and that was three, four years ago. And that will stay with me for the rest of my life. And I will try to pay it forward as much as I can. Like yesterday.

I was with a friend who working at a cafe. went to a bodega to get some food and the girl sitting next to us said, is this weird if like you quickly grabbed us some food and I Venmo’d you? And I said, no, go for it. It’s fine. So anyway, I got us some food, brought it back and she’s like, what do I do? And I said, no, don’t worry about it. Just pay forward. And it’s a really nice little way to, I feel great. I love it. And people are shocked.

Yeah!

And it’s maybe it just improves the world just by a tiny, tiny bit.

Speaker 2 (01:05:56.684)

Isn’t it the best though? It’s like also like you’re allowing the gift of giving someone’s allowing you to have that gift of support. Like how amazing. I that you do that every week. That’s so good. My reminder says phone call and no culture like check jury duty.

Yeah, it’s nice. Yeah, I my reminders.

Speaker 1 (01:06:20.43)

similar concepts.

I should add that. Thank you for sharing that.

Of course, thank you for sharing. So what is a book that you’ve gifted to people the most?

that I’ve gifted to people the most. Ooh, I should probably gift more books. I gift memes.

What is the meme that you’ve gifted them?

Speaker 2 (01:06:43.166)

Sorry, I’m a child of the internet. Probably like the unhinged capybara memes, you know, that say like, you are light in the world and like, I’m all mental, no health, like, you will get through this, you are loved, you know? I should gift more books. I don’t know if I ever gifted books. You actually gave me the five minute journal, which means so much to me because you gave me one right before we started this podcast that has a black cover that when I’m drinking my coffee in morning and inevitably spilling it all over the place.

It doesn’t stand like the white windows. I’m so grateful.

Thank you. Shout out to the guys who gave them to us.

I’m really like, I’m genuinely so happy. And like, that’s the one journal that the white one that I had in the past, I would literally travel with it. it was the one. They made an app. they make an app? Yeah, I like the pen on paper.

I think so, but I like the paper. I like the book. There’s something about it. It ties in. I think there’s been some studies that have shown that writing physically has more impact in your remembering.

Speaker 2 (01:07:33.326)

It’s like 90s kids, I think that’s it.

Speaker 2 (01:07:43.924)

If you grew up writing it, then yes. Think about it. If someone grew up not doing that and they had that occipital lobe, it’s responsible for movement that’s doing the texting. I you it’ll change. I’m curious, but I’m really grateful. See, I’m halfway to becoming a doctor. I can’t even reread my own handwriting. It’s great.

I wonder yeah, okay

Speaker 1 (01:08:03.95)

Yeah, so it’s perfectly on brand. You can’t reread your handwriting. No doctors have legible Journal, I’m a doctor! We held hands. My hands were sweaty.

Speaker 1 (01:08:21.742)

Will wash hands

I lost three times!

One of my last questions is, what if you could know the absolute truth to one question, what would it be?

That’s terrible, it’s the red pill or the blue pill. Authenticity is a core value of mine, so I’d always say I would rather have the truth, but sometimes it’s really painful and sometimes it really sucks.

So what do you want to know?

Speaker 2 (01:08:53.294)

The truth of life. Yeah. Like all of it. everything. Everything. Like really the truth. Really. Just the answers to everything. Like the truth to everything. Maybe if I’m like not my mom’s favorite child, maybe I don’t want it on us.

Just every life

Speaker 1 (01:09:08.91)

think that’s cheating.

Speaker 1 (01:09:14.966)

We can find out in the text

before is point blank and she always like no I love you equally until I’m so annoying until I’m so annoying that she’s like shut up you’re my favorite

There’s no way you can like everyone equally. There’s no way.

I kept telling her, I can’t get her to admit it unless I wear her down so much that she’s just angry and just wants me to shut up. No, I’m trying to think. Is there any question? I don’t know. Yeah, like the answers to the universe. Where do we go when we die? What is this all for? What does it mean? Is there God? What do we do? Are we a simulation? Is this even real?

What the fuck?

Speaker 1 (01:09:55.672)

What do you think the answer is?

Speaker 1 (01:10:02.19)

If you’re the universe, you’ll just, by effective dominoes, figure out your sexuality.

Maybe I think I’ve just learned enough that them you know the Dunning-Kruger effect right but the more I learned the more I recognize I have no clue. Yeah maybe like I don’t know string theory.

Yeah, you just want to casually learn string theory.

Yeah, or like anti-matter like, you know, like is gravity actually a wave and a particle like light? I don’t know. That’s how he’s... flexed me. Just give me the truth. Give me the truth. Yeah.

That’s where we’re going.

Speaker 1 (01:10:37.006)

That was the wildest answer I think I’ve ever gotten. I don’t know where we go when we die or random shit like that. Okay. So what is one lesson you’d hope that everyone takes away from this conversation?

Believe what most people say.

Speaker 2 (01:10:45.102)

The truth,

Speaker 2 (01:10:50.656)

Ooh.

I also think that it comes back to you could be listening to this podcast, you could be watching it, but it doesn’t matter what you and I look like. The impact we can have on this world goes so far beyond our physical appearance. Yeah, like imagine like even for me, even to this day, showing up to a date and being like, is this person seeing my blemish or you know, is it safe for me to wear this? Am I going to be judged for my scars or for my skin? And the idea that it’s like,

especially if you’re listening on audio.

Speaker 2 (01:11:20.46)

I would be depriving myself and this other person that I’m going on a date with of an experience because I’m worried about the way I look or speaking at that Ted talk. was like, I don’t know what to say. I’m too ugly. And I Googled, you know, that animal rights video, but the idea that I would be depriving people of sharing these things on a stage or that someone else would not speak on a stage or go to an interview or show up to an event because they’re afraid of what they look like. We’re so hyper focused on ourselves. Like we don’t even notice those other people, those things about other people. And

I firmly believe that every single person has a gift, an experience, a light, a passion, something within them that is so important that they are uniquely meant to share. And if any insecurity is getting in the way of you sharing that, get over it, figure it out. What you look like has no impact on the things that you can do for this world. So you can use what you look like to, you

to enhance or to privilege or to whatever, use the tools that you have. Like if you have a privilege, use it, uplift others with it, you know? But, my God, just go out there and do what you’re passionate about and spread your light in that thing that is so important that only you can do.

don’t have to necessarily do it on social media. You can do it with your school community or your friends or your partner. That doesn’t mean you have to become a content creator. Not at all.

The stranger in an Italian cafe like doesn’t speak English and is like crying over gelato

Speaker 1 (01:12:47.991)

I’ve seen that guy he’s huge

Speaker 1 (01:12:55.55)

That’s his whole thing, yeah, he’s going viral on... No, I don’t know.

I’ve subscribed, immediate subscribed. I want to know, I don’t know if you get comments or if listeners can comment, but I want to know what people take away from this. honestly, you asked me earlier what my favorite book is, The Alchemist. Every time I read it, I take something new. Literally listen back to this and you hear something new the second time. What do you take from it? That’s what I want to know.

Yeah, so that’s great.

Speaker 1 (01:13:23.586)

Well, I listen back to the podcasts. I listen to most episodes because I’m working on getting rid of ticks and little issues and getting better at saying questions. You know is my tick. Whenever I have a gap, say, you know, and I don’t need to say that. It doesn’t add anything to the conversation, but that’s what I’m working on.

Did you say it in this conversation? just said it. See, I didn’t even notice.

Yeah, a few times. Yeah. Yeah. I noticed. one else has noticed. Just me. Just you. Well, I mean, if anyone gets his phone and wants to make a comment about how they felt about the episode and what they’ve learned, feel free to go ahead. So wrapping up, is there anything you are excited about at the moment that you want to let the listeners in on?

What am I excited about the moment? Life. I chase my excitement. I think if you find something that you’re excited about in your work and what you’re doing, you’ll always have something to live for.

And I think that not wanting to live really taught me that. And for me, that could be the chemistry of skincare. There’s a new skincare product that’s coming out really soon from The Ordinary, which is one of my favorite brands. And it’s the first time they’re launching us on screen. Hope I’m not violating anything by saying that. But I’m so excited. There are some amazing events like Brandcast. I may or may not have a date lined up. But yeah, I know. I don’t know. That’s going to cost them royalties. Sorry.

Speaker 1 (01:14:45.513)

We need a photo.

Speaker 1 (01:14:49.998)

No, me. No, just me. I don’t know. No, that would be crazy.

I don’t know, like it’s a big step for me. So, new skincare products. yeah. I’m excited about a lot. What are you excited about?

It’s all very exciting stuff. Life, my life’s crazy. It’s great. Just living the dream, having so much fun, just doing cool shit.

I’m also really excited to tell you that there’s been a rat in the corner. You might want to this out, like I think it ate my croissant. It’s been like running back and forth throughout the episode.

the f**k is that?

Speaker 1 (01:15:28.782)

It wouldn’t have gotten enough of that, did it?

I didn’t want to tell you during the episode. I don’t know. And like it’s New York, like it’s a given here. It’s a given. But I was excited. A very tiny one. But I was really excited to tell you that because I was like, we got a friend.

So funny.

Speaker 1 (01:15:43.084)

Yeah. Well, where can people find it they’re interested in learning more?

They know.

Speaker 2 (01:15:50.542)

Everything on socials is at Cassandra Bankson. It’s like advice you give to your kid. Put your money in the bank, son. It’s Cassandra Bankson. Son. Yeah. And I’m a huge believer of speak up. And so say something, say hi, ask a question, make a complaint, tell me I look like a horse. That’d be great. I don’t know. I don’t know. But I was like, sure, nay.

Sun.

Speaker 1 (01:16:10.446)

Perfect.

Speaker 1 (01:16:16.206)

Okay.

It was an insult, but I took it as a compliment at the end of the day. was like, yeah, I’m going to reframe this. Look at that therapy going to work. Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, you’re killing it. And this is a go, right? And my last question for you is what is the meaning of life?

Ugh.

I think my third grade teacher asked us that and my answer is the same. The meaning of life is to figure out the meaning. Do the things, figure it out.

Speaker 1 (01:16:41.486)

I like it. All right. And if anyone’s made it this far, please go to YouTube search that one time with Adam Metwally. Give us a subscribe, like the video and leave a comment.

Literally leave a comment and let us know what’s stuck with you. Thank you so much. See you on the internet.

Cassandra, thank you. Yeah.